In my shoes

2011-09-10T16:10:00.003+08:00

Be careful of what you wish for..

Since that very fine day in late March 2011, it has widen my horizon indeed.
Nothing beats the experience I have gained these 4 months. Can you believe it?
It is just 4 months passed but so many things have been going on in my life. Truly receive what I wish for.

By the look of it, I might just end up swallowing my own words and return to where I begin.
I am not exactly choosy about things, I guess my mistake is to jump into the ship in a rush.
I make rash decision without thinking of its future consequences. Like how someone describe my current situation; 'It's like jumping from the frying pan into the fire'. Yes, I got burnt! It sucks, isn't it? Well, that's what I wanted.

But..then I realized it is not exactly about the right environment or the right person, it is striking the balance between both and I was lucky the first time. I guess it was the beginner's luck. Unfortunately, I am not that lucky the second and the third time.

Currently, I am toying with the possibility of returning. It is not easy to swallow your own pride. But if it is for the sake of happiness, why not right? Truly clueless of what to do now. I shall seek guidance from Him. Only He knows best.

2010-10-23T00:07:00.000+08:00

Date: 22 October 2010

Time: 7:16pm

Venue: Hanis Cafe in front of National Library @ Bugis

This blog has been collecting dusts, huh? Well, I am at the above venue while typing out this entry. Why am I where I am? Hmm...My intention was to study in the library since there are lots of reference materials for me to look into. But no, the library has to close at a weird timing for some staffs’ function. So inconvenient.

In the attempt not to waste time staring into thin air or observe people walk by, I decided to plop myself here doing equally unfruitful activity.

I should have gotten myself mobile broadband for easy use. Failure to do so resulted in me typing away using Microsoft Office Words 2007 instead.

But I digress. My purpose is not to describe in details where I am and why I ended up blogging but more so to give an update to my avid readers out there about snippets of my life, perceptions and so on and so forth. Alah bukannya I have followers in my blog also. Only that I saje2 feeling important.

I have been at the same place doing almost the same thing facing the same group of people ever since the last I updated this dearest blog of mine. Yes, I am loyal like that to HOH. *roll eyes*

Anyway, I am still surveying market for future employment as well as thinking when to apply for it. I should not talk only without any actions. For a start, I have decided to revamp my resume and create a new cover letter which will add an extra oomph when read.

I need to be mentally prepared for bigger responsibilities, less slacking and a more appropriate dress code to work. I am currently going work with T-shirt, pants and crocs. Eh what you all expect.. I am working just above Sheng Shiong supermarket okay. Not some CBD areas. Should my future employment be at CBD area I am so gonna be broke before I even start working since I need to invest in proper office wears. Haiz.

Let’s move on to a better topic, shall we? How about talking about marriage? Haha! Aku dah jadi minah kawin-kawin these few days I tell you. Not talking to BF obviously. Nanti takut pulak mamat tu. Well, I have been getting views from my fellow friends about marriage and to be precise the wedding. One of my friends actually suggested on choosing a date first so that I can slowly and carefully plan towards it. Okay I have even gotten options for the dates from Nad yesterday while attempting to webcam with her. Her webcam mintak kena throw lor that one. It only showed a grey screen throughout our conversation. Potential dates for ceremony are within the December period. The solemnization as spoken with BF just now might be months earlier.

Both of us have varied concerns. His concern is the HDB flat while mine is pretty shallow I must say i.e. the wedding details.

Ermm..Enough of the sneak preview of my wedding preparation. Will continue with it once more things are planned.

I am looking forward for December to arrive due to the two great trips I will be having! At the same time, I am worried about the financial planning aspect of it. I need to save for my marriage and now to save up for my Vietnam and KL trips. I foresee myself spending a considerable sum during both trips. I better prepare my Excel sheet now.

I would like to think that I have posted up a decent entry of what’s up and latest. For further updates you may wish to follow me on twitter instead. Place where I prefer to be recently. (",)

2010-10-11T21:08:00.002+08:00

Currently, I prefer twitter over blog-spot.
Thus, it explains my inactive account.
For any latest updates, you can read my tweets.

Lots of love,
Halimah Omar

2010-06-21T22:29:00.003+08:00

Damn! Muttons never fail to crack me up. They are so funny! :)
Alright, I have not been updating since like..four or five months ago?
Within that period, ALOT of things have happened. Ok fine! I am lying.

Nothing much was happening afterall. Apart from the crazy mugging in May.
The weird thing is I kinda prefer mugging for exams rather than going to office. Opps!

Taking from where I left in February, I did an internal switch from doing PI claim to Matrimonial and Probate. It is definitely a more challenging avenue as well as a great way to give my resume an extra oomph!

Let's not talk about work right. It is only half the year that has gone by but I cant wait for December already! HAHA! I know, I know..But I cant help it. December is such a great month full of festivities and of course Vietnam and hopefully..BATAM! :D

Oh! I have been reading the Shopaholics series and the irony of it..I feel a much stronger urge to SHOP!

I have been this itch to splurge on a good timepiece and something caught my eyes when I was at Hougang Mall window shopping after my final paper on 27th May.

Almost one month has passed by and I still cant get it off my head! Ok here it is..

Isnt it GORGEOUS?? Should I get it?? Should I??

Just now, I finally decided that I should invest on contact lenses. My vision is getting worse and a visit to the optician just now was depressing! Aiyah, I want to cry lah! Such a huge jump you know. In anyway made myself a new pair of specs and going to start taking better care of my eyesight. No more straining my eyes!! Maybe I should start eating plenty of Vitamin A! Since I purchased those supplements for the eyes might as well start consuming it. Hmm..
Going to start tonight! I can do it!!

I think I have gain more weight!! I want to take up swimming to past the time. I am so dead bored now without school!

Ever since exams ended, I have been catching up with my poly friends as well as the usual group of friends. It felt quite good and very interesting. Especially when you received news like a friend was 4-5 months pregnant! Congratulations!

You know I cant imagine myself being pregnant at 25! I know it is the right age to be pregnant and having children BUT I cant imagine myself doing that. Changing diapers, breastfeeding, waking up in wee hours of the morning etc etc. Not prepared for that yet! Maybe we should not over think about all these and just go with the flow. Perhaps that might help I guess. Hehe.

NAD! If you are reading this..I MISS YOU LAH!! :(

I want to fly to Australia BUT my bank account does not permit. Insyallah next year alright! Which month will be a good time? Hehe.

I know my entry is in a mess but I want to share with you guys this awesome song sang by a talented man I found in Youtube! Loving Bruno! I shall end with this beautiful song as a lullaby! Goodnight lovely people! Peace! :D

Oh I particularly love this..Somebody actually mixed Bruno's version with Natasha Bedingfield's version. I was in awe!!! *swoon*

2010-02-20T14:04:00.002+08:00

My Life: Change

I am 24 years old now. Any difference? The biological clock is ticking.
Apart from being closer to the BIG 3, my lifestyle is revamped.
In term of work life, I switched to doing Matrimonial and Probate instead. A refreshing start for 2010. Thus far, embracing the changes that come with it.

Study; I am preparing for the Exam which is in May. Quite crucial since the classification will be based on the Year 2 and Year 3 grades.

Ps: I was supposed to revise instead of blogging right now. My procrastination is getting the better of me. Haiz!

It's already approaching the end of February 2010. Time seems to be dashing across and at times I lost sight of it.

I hope more great things will be along the way for me as well as for the rest of you.

Honestly, I don't even know who else will be loyal enough to visit my site. Haha. In any event, I will continue to write for myself and I will not remove blogging from my to-do lists ever (or at least till I grow old and senile).

To those who celebrated on the 14th February, HAPPY VALENTINES' DAY and HAPPY CHINESE NEW YEAR! May you all have abundance of love and prosperous year ahead. Muacks! :D

2009-12-05T22:49:00.001+08:00

Dead & Gone!!

I miss performing...Haiz..

2009-12-05T22:37:00.004+08:00

Mim Alif Lam Alif Sim....

the best described my current state. I have not even started on a proper revision on any of my subjects including Contract Law. Gosh..This is so sucky. I have been slacking far too much and I think December is a perfect time to start the engine before it's too late.

All that said, I cant find the drive to begin!!!!!! HELP!!

2009-12-05T22:35:00.002+08:00

Exposed

I am known for my controlled emotions but does not always mean it is healthy.
Once awhile you just need to eradicate unwanted thoughts, feelings etc from your system so that it wont overflow and spill. Now that will be a messy affair if it happen to spill.

Well I am thankful that I am able to detoxify occasionally.
There is always one particular individual I can count on to be the shoulder to cry on, the listening ears to share my ups & downs and the hands
that catch me when I fall.

I am thankful that I fate bring me to him.

Oh, I do not discriminate.

Thus, I would like to express my gratitude to the friends that have been there when I broke down and torn apart. Been there when I soar up high and smile.

Thank you.

2009-11-08T23:01:00.002+08:00

Standstill

The hiatus of thoughts is over now.
I hereby resume writing per normal.
Alright, life like was mentioned in my earlier entry is pretty much monotonous.
With the routine-base activities I am going through daily, it is making my brain sluggish.
Plus, my creativity juice has dried up and never replenish since God knows when.

My current state is very disheartening.
It is similar to suffering from chronic illness minus the physical pain.
Mine is more of a mental torture. It hurts more as the year progress to an end.

Thankfully, I have my studies to keep me sane. Only for a short while.
Apart from that, I don't feel that I accomplish much within this year.
There is no new challenges in my life. No doubt my job is getting taxing with added responsibilities. But there is still no pleasure. Like things got stale along the way.

Haiz..I am jaded.

2009-11-08T22:46:00.003+08:00

Monotony

Black & Bleak.
I am hyperventilating in an empty room.
Why? Why do you do that to me?

Rip me apart and leave.
Why? Why do you do that to me?

Twirling with my thoughts.
Push me into a whirlpool.
Why? Why you don't even care?

Is it time yet? To make my exit.

2009-10-04T20:29:00.002+08:00

I've gone a long way to give it all up.
Despite feeling sore over it, I will continue to move ahead and not look back.
No turning back. It is something I will not do. Not ever.

----------------

We have come a long way to where we are now.
In order to take another step ahead, a lot of factors need to be taken into consideration.
Yes, it is not easy but nothing is difficult with proper planning and teamwork(very important!)
I hope we will be ready for that next step. :)

-----------------

Have not been religiously blogging due to various commitments. Drained.
However, for the sake of better future I shall persevere and endure.

------------------

Hope it is not too late to publicly wish..

Nur Ashikin Binte Tahir, a belated HAPPY 23rd BIRTHDAY!
May you be blessed with happiness.
Don't feel that insecure about he forgetting to wish. I'm sure it was an honest mistake.

Muhammad Fuad Bin Muhammad Zain, a HAPPY 23rd BIRTHDAY!
May you be successful in your life! Learn to be more patient in life ya! :)

All Muslims around the world, SELAMAT HARI RAYA AIDILFITRI!
In times of happiness, don't forget the less fortunate ones.
Be appreciative 'cos you will never know when you will face with hardships.
Celebrate and Eat in Moderation this festive month! :)

2009-08-05T22:19:00.001+08:00

I am sorry for being ignorant and stuck in my own bubble for a very long time.
Oh yes, I am guilty.
I was distant. I was cold. I was thoughtless.
It took me so long to realize all these.
I am extremely slow in processing it all.
On the brighter note, I have tomorrow onwards to make it up to those people that matters.
SMSes. Random meet-ups. Chat. Or whatever is there. I shall spare those precious time for precious people like you. :)

Okay, I am rebuilding my goals in life.
It is still under construction though but I definitely have a clearer idea of what I want to achieve in life.

You know what, I can stand on my own two feet. I am as much capable as you are.
I dont need your kindness, thank you very much.

And what a friend said is true.."We can spare a few minutes or a few seconds to listen to them but they can't do the same to us"

Oh well, life's unfair and I realize it already. Therefore, I can start coping my future in a better way. :)

That's all for my random and messy thoughts. Bye!

2009-08-01T12:50:00.000+08:00

The End of Endless Procrastinations

Settled and watched the followings..

1) Bride Wars
2) 17 Again
3) It's a boy girl thing
4) Definitely, Maybe
5) John Tucker Must Die
6) P.S I love you

And even ended up watching a documentary about Bermuda Triangle.

Hmm..Increment have just passed and oh well slowly climbing up the ladder and start to wonder whether should I choose another track to move ahead.

Oh! Nadira is in town and have yet to meet up with her. So the coming week shall be spend meeting up with her. It's just 6 months huh? Feel much longer than that.

Planning on a not-so shopping spree today. We'll see how it goes.

School starting in a month time and Ramadhan is also around the corner. Life's gonna be hectic again.

Before I forget, I am currently into sketching/drawing whatever you call it. I am trying to come out with a few art pieces for own collection. Haha. So far did two. Hmm..

Alright..till we meet again soon! Bye!

2009-07-19T18:02:00.004+08:00

Take a Break!

Oh great! Almost 2 months have passed and my break is coming to an end on 7th September!
Only now I managed to meet up with a friend to get tons of movies to watch.
Ya what a waste for not having those movies earlier to kill the time!
So to compensate for the loss I decided to do a movie marathon!
I started yesterday and I still have plenty of catching up to do.
Therefore, in order to expedite matter I am listing down the movies I am dying to watch.

Bride Wars
17 Again
21
It's a Boy Girl Thing
Fracture
Untraceable
Conspiracy
Knowing
My Sassy Girl
My Blueberry Nights
The Promotion
Thank You for Smoking
Definitely, Maybe
Dark Floors
Teeth
The Great Debaters
Reservation Road
Meet Dave

Wokay! I think it's over ambitious to complete the list but I think it's possible! Let the race begin!

Alright, I have absolutely nothing about my life I wish to update for the time being so so..till then! Sayonara people!!

2009-07-05T14:53:00.003+08:00

Childhood Bliss

How perfect it is if life can be as sweet as cotton candy and ice lemon tea!
Unfortunately, it is not.
So we make do of what we possess to the best of our ability and make imperfection seems perfect.
Even in the smallest of things, we CAN be happy and chirpy.

Currently, I find pleasure & happiness in COLORS and CARTOONS.
And I find the perfect balance in these..

2009-06-15T21:11:00.000+08:00

Okay, I think I am financially atrocious this month.
I did not set aside my savings unlike any other months.
I did too much unnecessary shopping which I should have considered first.
My indulgence got the best of me. Financially.

I am going to be declared broke soon but in the meantime I am still sustaining.
I hope I can last till the 26th! *pray & meditate*

2009-06-15T20:23:00.001+08:00

When two worlds collide, explosion is an understatement

Finally, I redeemed myself from 6 days of worthless activities.
Long breaks are seriously unhealthy and it keeps me away from doing constructive work.

By the way, he is freaking me out with his dedication to studies and work.
He seems to be putting in ten times extra effort than what I did in the 1st year.
He definitely will not be facing any problems in his studies.

Alright, I have been kinda holding on a dream but nowadays this dream is giving me chills somehow.
As time tick by, two years wont be that long afterall. Am I prepared? Hell no!

I am not prepared for so many things. Especially religiously.
My knowledge is insufficient and I am scared.
Of course I need to start somewhere and I don't even know where and how.
I am not gaining knowledge to lead me through just for the two years but to lead me through my life. My future.

Hmm...Perhaps this long break can be useful to sort my life out and to do some re-adjustments.

Oh well, nowadays constant bickering seem to be a norm. Our differences seem to be much more apparent now then it has been years before. I am sorry for being so intolerant and petty. I think I shouldn't treat you differently from others.
I shouldn't impose a different standards on you. I am so sorry for being very difficult.
I, myself cant seem to understand my actions sometimes.
Maybe I just crave extra attention from you. Maybe I am not even thinking.
I spurt out words that pierce like a dagger. Yet you still stay. I thank you for that.
For believing in me when no one else did.
For being by my side when I was alone.
For sharing my joy and wiping my tears.

I know this is such a private affair to be shared with the whole world but since it reveals nothing too personal so I don't mind posting it up.

2009-06-02T21:39:00.003+08:00

Life is a maze and Love is a riddle

This just makes me smile : ) Cheerful and vibrant. Alright, 1 week has passed by and I actually did quite a substantial amount of activities. From meeting cluster to spring cleaning my room to organizing shoes into its individual boxes to completing Paulo Coelho's The Alchemist. It felt good!

This week should be dealt with in a better way too. I need to settle the 2nd year subjects selection and psychology is still on my 'considering' list. Hmm..No doubt it sounds interesting and intriguing but not sure whether I can pull it through. Perhaps I should just go for it. Taking the risk in life is what makes it more challenging and fun!

I am going to make mental note to self about what I want to achieve this week. Hopefully it will be a more fruitful week for me unlike this entry. Till then, enjoy the present and stop worrying about the future.

2009-05-24T15:04:00.003+08:00

One ordeal has come to an end. Let's call it a break, shall we?
It was one of the toughest challenge I had to face so far.
It really opened up my eyes and my mind.
So the next time I shall pursue it from the beginning and put extra effort into it.

This long break need to be well planned and utilized as to avoid aimless digressions.
I want to do something fruitful apart from doing substantial amount of reading.
It has finally dawn on me that I have no passion for anything at the moment.
Nothing that I really would like to do at a regular basis. I cannot find my moxy. :(

Therefore, I will embark on a journey to find it. Not to be analytical about it. Just to clear my mind and settle on something. I should start doing some changes to my lifestyle. I don't want to be stuck in a routine all my life. Let see what I can come up with within these two months or so.

Till then..I shall bid my goodbye and leave you with a song I heart at the moment.

2009-05-07T16:48:00.003+08:00

A very very long day..*sigh*
From sleepless night to chaotic morning
From giddy and nauseous morning to anxious mid-day
Sweaty & rushed..
And now, drained!
Sleepy too!

I never had a paper like this in my entire life!
Not even the vomiting.
Wishing that the rest will be a smooth ride.

2009-04-28T21:48:00.005+08:00

And I find it kind of funny... I find it kind of sad
The dreams in which I'm dying... Are the best I've ever had

2009-04-27T23:22:00.003+08:00

Congratulation Marie! 3 years to go!

I know I am always lagging when it comes to updates and wishes but nonetheless I am trying to keep up with the time.

Biar muka meleket macam gula melaka atau berminyak seperti pantat kuali.
Hati tetap happy melihat kawanku sarung cincin di jari.
Sekali lagi, tahniah Marie!

Okay! Today was my first day back to school (again!). And oh well I was scolded by the librarian for eating nutrition bar! Totally "what-the-hell" moment but I actually put on my plastic face and apologized half-heartedly to the b*tch. Just me being me. Haha!
Despite starting the day on the bad note, I have never felt this rejuvenated for a very long time. I supposed it must be being away from the unhealthy aura.

I am loving my new lifestyle!!! With the exceptions of the slogging of course.

2009-04-17T23:51:00.005+08:00

Weight Loss program!!

Oh dear!! No one have ever like point it out straight to my face that I have gain ALOT of weight until two days ago. That was like a slap across the face to wake me up from falling deeper into the unhealthy weight zone.

On the day itself..I tell myself to be determined and shed off those extra kilos that I've gained over the 3 years of working. Yes, it's the work! All those sitting down in front of the computer is really unhealthy.
So..I have come up with the to do list to help lose approximately 3-4 kg plus a toned abdomen and here it goes...

-Climb up the stairs instead of using the elevator to get to the office/after lunch
-Drink plenty of water
-Push-ups & crunches alternate with aerobic exercises (on weekdays)
-Jogging every Sunday
-Reduce food intake during lunch (intending to eat bread)

I hope I can stay discipline with the routine 'cos I really want that toned up abdomen to fit into those body hugging tees..I hate those bulges!

I really, really want to stay on the healthy BMI. 22.6, here I come!!!

2009-04-11T15:08:00.002+08:00

I hate to say this but I think I treat different people differently. Double standard! That's what it is. And the worse of it all, I just realized it! So much for the equality and all. I think it's hard to attain.

Just that everyone have a certain set of expectations labelled to their friends, family, relatives etc. It's like reflex action. You can't control it!

Those expectation gets higher when you are closer to particular people. If they somehow fail to meet up with the expectations, you tend to get disappointed. Well, it's normal I think. What is more important is how you deal with the disappointment. Often, I chose the wrong way to handle it. Thus, it leads to terrible heartache. I know I shouldn't have dealt with it the way I did but at the spur of the moment you just can't think rationally. Afterall, I am a woman. They happen to be well-known for being irrational! For goodness sake! It is not that bad, okay?!

I mean why blame on gender or race or background when you happen to act/say/behave in the wrong way? At the end of the day, it is not those factors that really matters! It's all about your decisions.

So what if I happen to decide things wrongly at times? So what if I make mistakes? Don't anyone else? So, can you please stop blaming it on my gender already?? So what if I cry like a baby when I am sad? I am human with emotions. That separate you and me! So get that straight into your brain!

Wokay, I sound schizophrenic and confusing here. That's fine I am having my moment.

One more thing, this entry is not meant for anyone in particular.

2009-04-11T00:14:00.002+08:00

Public Holiday was not well-spent but I am happy anyway. It seems like ages ago that I attended any Yellow Chair Production (YCP) events or bumped into any of the members. Things seem to be progressing but not as how I thought it would be.

Earlier today I managed to catch one of their many productions i.e. Eight-in-a-box. Refreshing I must say. Nothing to over the top and what I love the most is the script! Nurul & Shahdon! If you are reading this, I am really looking forward to the July Production. Wow me with your crazy ideas you all. I am loving it so far! :)

I am actually inspired. Inspired to write. It is something random but I want to pursue it. It is like a new challenge altogether. I want to write in a totally different level and perspective but at the same time digestible. Hmm..

Well, I have come to hate this monotony in my life. I hate this routine. Call me a whiner or whatsoever but I am tired living like this. Maybe, I should start to find a hobby.

Life has it funny way of making 360 degrees' turn and flip everything around.
It is when the least you expect to end up where you think you wont be, it changed your mind. How amazing..

When the town is sleeping, here I am awake, entertaining my own thoughts..
I shall make my exit now and continue to drown myself in my own world.

I love Friday night like this. Serene and calm.

2009-04-01T21:39:00.002+08:00

It's April. It has been almost a month and I went on without any updates.
I have been stuck in a timeless routine. Work.Study.Sleep.Wake up.Work.Study!!
This maddening cycle is driving me crazy and leeching my energy off.
I am left with nothing but exhaustion.

Today, I decided to steal away time and put up an entry for my reference.
It is definitely not a fulfilling update but more like a brief review of the month.

Another month of preparation and I am really counting on every ounce of hope I can get hold of. The time is approaching and anxiety kicks in at its optimum ability.
All I can do right now is to stay calm and organise my schedule.
In addition, I need to be disciplined about it.

It's my one and only chance. I need to prove it's all worthwhile.

2009-03-08T17:34:00.004+08:00

Bruised and Battered.
Torn and Tattered.
But it still beats the same.
Your name.

That's the hardest part isn't?
How I wish it can be as easy as quiting the game.
The pain too much to bear.

I cant believe I hold on so long just to be able to feel happy.
I cant believe I sacrificed so much to hold your hands.
And the saddest part..
You wont understand.
You never will.

All these years, I am nothing but negative.
I disappoint time and again.
I am that burden you always deny.
The forbidden name in your house.

Yes, it's not easy being where I am.
I envy you because you wont be going through it.
The way I did.

Am I asking too much?
Too much than what you can give.
Am I hoping sky high?
Too high that you cant reach.

If that's the case, pardon me.
And you don't have to worry.
I have stop hoping for my very own happy ending.

Whatever happen, happens for a reason.
Thank you so much for that temporary bliss.

2009-02-20T22:55:00.002+08:00

Rushed & Crushed

The days passed me without a second look.
Things have been happening at an ultra high speed that I can no longer stop and think.
There were times things got too much to handle that crying seems the best solution.
In just two weeks, it took away part of my youth.

Oh by the way, that rubber band was stretched to its maximum capacity and snapped.
No way for it to return to its original position. Period.

Let's just think happy thoughts for the time being now..

I went to watch Menopause the Musical.
It didn't meet my expectation. Perhaps I have too high of an expectation to begin with.
But it was enough to brighten my day and satisfy my theatre cravings.

He safely underwent that surgery and is recovering well. (or at least i hope he is)

I miss writing in Malay.But I don't know how to begin.

Expectation leads to disappointment.
The statement that holds so much truth.
Read it. Heard it.
But my brain cant seem to register it.
That explain the tears and heart aches.
I am in denial.Serious denial.
Why can't I quit hoping for a miracle?
Blooming petals.
Fantasy hardly becomes reality.

23.
It is just 22+1.
Ascending numbers which only stops once your time is up.
Importantly, the addition multiply happiness deduct sorrows.

1 year wiser (hopefully)
1 year worth of lessons learnt
1 year filled with mixed feelings
1 year living the dream

Thank you to those who have made being 23 awesome!
Especially..Ashikin, Nurul, Shahdon & Marrisa.
I am 2 weeks late. Sorry.

To him who never fail to surprise,
Thanks for the wonderful effort.
You made me smile. :)

She left for Australia.
Pursuing her dreams.
Bid the goodbyes on the 17th.
No one like to part.
Especially with someone whom they are fond of.
Nadira, the technology is so advance now.
We will definitely stay connected regardless of the distance.
My well wishes to you. *hugs*

Oh before she left we managed to camwhore @ Chinese Garden.
Of course the photographer of the day was Shahdon.
End result was not bad.
But the process was definitely fun and challenging at the same time!

Finals is in less than 3 months and I am not even half way there.
I should have foresee all these before enrolling.
The commitment level is definitely high!

My apologies for various appointments that was and is going to be cancalled in the process to upgrade myself. Sorry.

Internet connection at work has been limited to work-related.
That explains my absence or lack of participation in Facebook, Blogger and Messenger.

Please enlighten me on issue of pregnancy.
Does it reduces one responsibility to rock bottom?
Does it increases difficulty to remember things?
I need to know because it drives me crazy!! Argh!
(I am not the one suffering from the above by the way.)

Okay, I hope it is good enough of an update for the time being.
Goodnight!

2009-02-13T11:17:00.002+08:00

Love and memories..

2009-02-08T13:12:00.006+08:00

I cant get my pea brain to digest Business Management, so here I am wasting my time blogging.

Perhaps I should remind myself to update on the followings when I am less occupied and more willing to share it with the world..

1) Being a 23 year old
2) Photoshoot at Chinese Garden
3) Cluster re-unite

For now let me just add in additional overdue pictures for the fun of it. Pardon my scatter-brain.

Marina Barrage.Wind in the hair moment.Serenity in the chaos.Minimal make-up.

Now, Singapore is less hectic.

Their very own Esplanade By the Bay.

Heading North..

The origins of Palmas and a source of income.

Caught a Mat Salleh in an intense conversation.

2009-01-18T12:11:00.003+08:00

100 bucks on chemicals!!!

Yes. That's how much I spent.
But the experience is priceless.
Now at least i know how it felt like to sit for 4hrs in a salon!
I really warm up the seat.

The result: Extremely straight, silky and FLAT hair!! Now I know how Shikin felt the very 1st time she rebonded her hair. It's really like lidah anjing!!!

Enough about my tresses then. My very first theater experience for 2009 was great! It's been so long since I had a good experience with it. It's a brand new flavor. Unconventionally fantastic!
And of course, there were minor glitches here and there but Betrayed Babies left me inspired.

Brought him along to watch it to make up for the bad experiences. Thankfully, he loves it and don't mind to be theatrically-entertained in the future.

Next on the list will be Menopause the Musical and perhaps Past Caring by TNS.
Shall see how it goes and whether the finance department allows for it to happen.

2009-01-14T22:40:00.000+08:00

53%

I am seeing light at the end of the pitch black tunnel!!
Eventhough that light isnt a floodlight and doesnt shine as bright but it's better than no light at all.

It was really funny how I was beaming and jumping with joy at the sight of the mark. I was not easily contented back then. Hmm..

Maybe I have learnt to be more realistic in life on top of the chaos i was in on the day i sat for the paper. It is justifiable but definitely can perform way better next time. I am so going to dedicate myself and enjoy later.

Ooh, my motivating factor for work is going to arrive in less than a week. The sole factor that anchor me to the ground now.

Whee!! The rain is falling real soon and the well will be filled to its brim.
*starts to do the rain dance*

CNY holiday is coming soon!! I am so looking forward to it. Away from office and the most annoying human I have ever met. Hmph!

Obviously, it is a reason to celebrate!!!!!

Haiyah..So crappy already lah eh! Better make a move now.

2009-01-13T23:19:00.002+08:00

In the middle

The blog has been long neglected.
There are many things I wanted to post up but everytime I tried to do so my brain seems to fail me. Like there are 1001 things running through my mind and string of words just keep making its appearance in no particular sequence. I had no energy to thread it into sensible sentences.

I know I am not going to be any better now but since I am less occupied I better begin it.

So, life has not change drastically since the sudden arrival of 2009. In fact, it started on a very solemn note. Imagine on a brand new year, you ended up witnessing war and cruelty!! My heart goes to the victims of the Israeli attacks.

On the brighter note, ended 2008 with satisfaction and joy.
Visited KL. Attended friend's wedding at Perak. Shopped like there's no tomorrow. Treat my taste buds to tantalising meals. Conquered fear of height.

Okay, shall let the photos do the rest of the talking..

2008-12-14T00:28:00.005+08:00

That goodbye and slightest hint..

2008-12-13T16:22:00.005+08:00

Flush!

Accumulated resentments, periodics tantrums and deeply buried disappointments.

Toxins that need to be flushed out of the system before 2009 begins or else it will be left

hazardous to the mind, body and soul.

As far as I can recall, I have been brooding on how boring my life has been, how unproductive

I've become and how slow I have been progressing.

Honestly, life has not been that bad afterall.

Life has not been stagnant. It keeps on propelling.

And as I am typing all these..it continues to move ahead.

Eversince I can remember, it has always been about the fury, the angst and the sadness of life

that has been successfully reflected.

I wonder where have all the joy went to? Have it evaporated into thin air? Or just that the

negative feelings outshine the positive ones?

Two years back. Without fail, I wish for the years to pass me by without a blink of the eye.

To hurry history. And never look back.

Now, I crave for it to slow down so that I can suck it all in.

The goodness of the unfortunate events.
The healing process of the wound.
The smell of the earth after rain.
The glow of the morning sky.
The adrenaline rush from that Sunday jog.
The smile on her face.
Siblings' laughters.
The warmth of his hugs.

I crave for the details because it will never be replayed again.

If it does, then it will just be of fond memories stored at the back of your mind together with

other rusty old memories.

-------------------------------------------

Something knock me hard on the head.

Telling me it's like a wild goose chase.

Trying to break my spirit.

Is that it?

I will not give up until I pour that last ounce of effort.

Only God knows what the future entails.

2008-12-09T13:26:00.005+08:00

The well run dry

Waiting anxiously for the rain

It wont arrive soon. Not yet.

It is not the time of the month.

Shit. This cannot go on.

Or I will die out of thirst.

Wishing for a miracle..

I hate being broke in DECEMBER.

First week to be precised. Boohoo!!

Going on a ration now!

2008-12-08T20:11:00.003+08:00

My Bedroom Day!

Time spent alone was never this great.
It's been quite awhile since I had time to spend on my own.
Today I did it.
It was a day well spent. Hey, when you enjoy wasting time..It is not time wasted.
The weather was perfect. The bed was extremely comfy. And the stomach was contented with all those delicious food filled to the brim.
There, you have it! My very own movie marathon.

Started off with Daddy day care. Followed by two Malay movies.. Nothing mind boggling. Just wanted to laugh my head off and I did! I watched "Apa Kata Hati?" and "I'm not Single".
Subsequently, I took a nap and woke up to watch "Date with Tad Hamilton".

So there you go..My break spent as simple as it can be and I am very very happy!
Okay, I am rambling nonsense and it's not intellectual at all but I don't care.
Bottomline is I am one happy lady today! :D

2008-11-15T12:27:00.004+08:00

Of withered roses and emotional hemorrhage

Some say love, it is a river
That drowns the tender reed
Some say love, it is a razor
That leaves your soul to bleed
Some say love, it is a hunger
An endless aching need
I say love, it is a flower
And you, its only seed

It's the heart, afraid of breaking
That never learns to dance
It's the dream, afraid of waking
That never takes the chance
It's the one who won't be taken
Who cannot seem to give
And the soul, afraid of dying
That never learns to live

When the night has been too lonely
And the road has been too long
And you think that love is only
for the lucky and the strong
Just remember in the winter
Far beneath the bitter snow
Lies the seed
That with the sun's love, in the spring
Becomes the rose

-------------------------------------

Yes, love in itself come in different forms and definitions..

I can never imagine life without love.

Bitter and dull.

2008-11-06T15:55:00.004+08:00

The Whirs and the Purrs

Have I grown up too fast for my own good?

Should I have taken a few steps back and slow down to catch my breath?

It is as though my mind has been contaminated with too many facts of life.

My heart has been beating unnaturally fast and I can feel my blood gushing to my brain.

I have no idea why I’m feeling so charged up these days.

Should I blame it on that book I am currently reading? Its content perhaps?

Err..I had actually rushed down to the library to get my hands on the book. I made the trip solely for that!

I can’t believe I actually went to that extent.

Maybe I should start practicing abstinence and resistance. *sigh*

*side-track* A new author have been added to my list of favorite writers. I am too drawn by

his subtlety and artful descriptions of the most controversial issue. Despite that subtleness of

his words, he manages to sketch vivid images in one’s mind. For that, it ignites a sense

within me that I have never felt before. Perhaps that’s the feeling one felt after a good sex?

Or to put it in a more decent way, a feeling one get maybe after a full body SPA treatment

(massage included)? I think you get what I mean. That “feel good” feeling. Satisfaction! Ah!!

That’s the word that fits this situation.

It seems my side-track is way off.

Finally! I received that long-awaited Parcel from London. What makes them take so long to

deliver it? Should have used DHL or Fed-Ex lah! Anyway, no more complaints or to be precise

no more excuses for not able to study since resources are a few steps away. Honestly, maybe

it’s a good thing the books arrive now rather than the past few months. At least, the arrival

of the books is a form of motivation for me to do revision. Those new texts are very

inviting. Welcome me to read it and gain knowledge from it. Aaah..

Sometimes, I wish not to rekindle certain ties that was once broken. Not because of any form

of arguments but more to poor reception. I wish to maintain it that way because certain

friendships are too bitter to swallow. At some point, those friendships are meaningless and

sadly, full of pretence. Maybe it is meant not to be. I’m sorry. Door is close for you. Now, it is
by invitation only.

Everyone wish to live their life in denials. I am not to be excluded. I hate to admit that I

have at several occasions told tales about my life. The life I wish I can be in. The harsh reality
that all those are not true hit me real hard. No doubt that cut through my heart is slowly

healing but it will still leave an ugly scar. That will never go away. It will still live on like a

terrible nightmare. *sigh*

Recently, I have been questioning myself. Will I still survive the Theatre Circle if I am thrown

into it? Will I be acting more like a clown trying to fit into the cast of “Phantom of the

Opera”?

2008-10-23T15:04:00.002+08:00

Time check: 9:54a.m.

I am supposed to be busy drafting letters, completing Affidavits and other related tasks rather

than updating my blog at this hour.

But I insist on procrastinating and here I am drafting my entry instead.

I am still surviving to date since nothing much in my schedule right now.

It’s term break yet again. Only need to attend POA classes on Wednesday and Friday.

So 3 days of freedom(weekends not included).

The pressure of working and studying at once really is getting to me now.

I am afraid I might screw up all the four subjects and end up repeating the entire modules again!

****
Disappointment. How can it remain hidden for long?

I never expect that from her.

Apart from that notorious nature, I know deep down she is much more intelligent that she

appears to be.

I thought she can make a rational decision but she proves me wrong.

Her intelligence merely reflected in the record book but do not extend beyond that.

And not all can be blame on her parents. If you decide to stay firm, you won’t end up where you are not.

In the middle of nowhere. Your future; unpredictable.

I’ve tried to do some damage control but it seems beyond repair.

I failed to salvage her from sinking deeper.

To whom it may concern, I really hope it is not too late to change your decision.

I pray that you will finally realize what you have done to your life.

It is too precious to go wasted and especially not in this very manner.

I really don’t know whether you will be reading this but I hope you do.

And if you do, I hope you know it’s meant for you..

***
Currently, there is only one song I am listening to and it gets very addictive.

All because of Nad’s entry she posted a week back.

Beyonce: Flaws and all is set on loop.

Wonder why the lyrics seem so closer to the heart than any other.

How the words hold so much truth it made me all teary-eyed.

2008-10-21T13:41:00.000+08:00

Actually I don’t know why I even bother to explain myself on this one.

If I am deem as a bad person in your eyes so be it lor. I can live with that anyway.

Firstly, there was no binding agreement or even a promise that I would attend it. So yah!

I was merely requesting for information which was answered by you. Thanks for that by the way!

I made a passing statement to follow on certain conditions which was not fulfilled.

Lastly, I don’t think my PRESENCE made so much of a difference.

Bottomline is…It wasn’t at the 11th hour.

Thus, I am not guilty. :D

---------
I have concluded that this year Raya outing is meant to be up, close and personal.

For the 2 consecutives weekends, I had memorable visits to various houses.

The most recent would have to be with Nadilton! Had so much fun and slept over her place for the night. It would have been better w/o (fill in the blank). I am not sure if I can still do that this Friday. Hmm..We’ll see how things turn out then.

Pictures will be compiled and uploaded in due course.

In need for a retail therapy but cash flow is very restricted in the meantime. *sigh*

----------

You are such a nag but I love you anyway..

2008-10-12T11:33:00.001+08:00

GIVE IT TO ME

What are you waiting for?
Nobody's gonna show you how
Why work for someone else
To do what you can do right now

Got no boundaries and no limits
If there's excitement, put me in it
If it's against the law, arrest me
If you can handle it, undress me

Don't stop me now, don't need to catch my breath
I can go on and on and on
When lights go down and there's no one left
I can go on and on and on

Give it 2 me, yeah
No one's gonna show me how
Give it 2 me, yeah
No one's gonna stop me now

They say that a good thing never lasts
And then it has to fall
Those are the the people that did not
Amount to much at all

Give me the bassline and I'll shake it
Give me a record and I'll break it
There's no beginning and no ending
Give me a chance to go and I'll take it

Don't stop me now, don't need to catch my breath
I can go on and on and on
When lights go down and there's no one left
I can go on and on and on

Give it 2 me, yeah
No one's gonna show me how
Give it 2 me, yeah
No one's gonna stop me now

[Pharrell:] Watch this!

Get stupid, get stupid, get stupid, don't stop it (What?)
Get stupid, get stupid, get stupid, don't stop it (What?)
Get stupid, get stupid, get stupid, don't stop it (What?)
Get stupid, get stupid, get stupid, don't stop it

Get stupid, get stupid, get stupid, don't stop it
(To the left, to the right, to the left, to the right)
Get stupid, get stupid, get stupid, don't stop it
(To the left, to the right, to the left, to the right)

Get stupid, get stupid, get stupid, don't stop it
(To the left, left, right, right, left, left, right, right)
Get stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid...
(Left, left, right, right, left, left, right, right)

Don't stop me now, don't need to catch my breath
I can go on and on and on
When lights go down and there's no one left
I can go on and on and on

Give it 2 me, yeah
No one's gonna show me how
Give it 2 me, yeah
No one's gonna stop me now

You're only here to win
Get what they say?
You're only here to win
Get what they do?
They'd do it too
If they were you
You done it all before
It ain't nothing new

You're only here to win
Get what they say?
You're only here to win
Get what they do?
They'd do it too
If they were you
You done it all before
It ain't nothing new

Give it 2 me, yeah
No one's gonna show me how
Give it 2 me, yeah
No one's gonna stop me now

Give it 2 me, yeah
No one's gonna show me how
Give it 2 me, yeah
No one's gonna stop me now

Give it 2 me

2008-10-05T22:30:00.008+08:00

Festive mood isnt dying as yet.

Enjoy!

2008-10-01T21:37:00.004+08:00

Loads to be updated but there isnt ample time to do so.
Since it's the 1st day of Aidil Fitri and we normally dont do much visitings..
So here I am making use of the available opportunity to do some blogging.

Ramadhan have been smooth-sailing but extremely challenging for me.
My entire 1 month seems like some episode from Amazing Race!
I'm really racing for time and all.
On top of fasting, there's a need to juggle between school and work.
Eversince the second semester started, there's an extra class every Thursday apart from the Monday, Wednesday and Friday classes.
It's such a horrible schedule and I have to endure it till May/June next year!!

Okay, cut that story short and fast-forward to the last week of Ramadhan.
It was such a surprise to have so many things happening then.
Our very own version of Iftar with dearest Nurul and Ashikin on Saturday.
It was definitely enjoyable reminiscing the past and gossiping the present. : P

Sunday, last minute shopping at Geylang Bazaar. OMG! I hate the crowd! But ironically, the "feel" wasnt there despite the crowd.
Hmmm...So finally found what I wanted and rushed back home.

Well.. I took a whole week leave this week and it started from Monday.
Monday went by like a flash. It felt a lil wasted though.
Tuesday woke up to collect the nutella rolls from NAD!
We met at Raffles Place and my oh my! That place is really foreign to me.
I was really clueless of the surroundings. So memalukan!!

Whenever I met her, I will never end up home early! Haha! The actual plan was to meet her and went home thereafter.
BUT!! No..We ended up at Orchard because I was in search for my earrings at Forever 21. BUT again we disgressed.
Ended up buying unrelated stuffs from Cotton On.
Nad decided to play the aunty role as she wanted to buy bedsheets!! OooKay..
Guess where we ended up next??
LITTLE INDIA! The accessories heaven! Ahhhh!!
I tell you Little India is much more happening than Geylang lah! Wth rite?
Dont know whether we are celebrating Hari Raya or Deepavali ah!
That's where I finally bought my earrings! Hooray!! :D

As soon as I reached home, rolled up the sleeves and started to work.
By then it was nearly 6pm! Wth rite? And to think I went out from the house at 12pm and told my mom that I'll be back soon.
So much for my soon.
After breakfast, again I started to work. This time to buy syrup and flowers.
Hey hey kawan2!! This year no Bandung Panas ya! Change in flavor.
We are going blues this year with Blueberry ya.

1st October 2008: Aidil Fitri

I am one happy lady this year. This year feels so complete and harmonious.
There's a change in the wind direction.
Positively of course. I can never wish for anything better than this.
The day full of laughter and joy. I am so contented. Eventhough it was just for that few hours.
It's enough to make me smile the entire day.
Like every Hari Raya, I have always look forward to 3 things.
Firstly, of course..Dressing up! If not for Raya, when will I be able to put on my extra bright eye shadow, thick mascara, dark eyeliners and my Kebaya?
Food glorious food! The next on my list.
And not to forget my family classic moment.."Beraya" or what we know as seeking for forgiveness. I love to capture the moment on video. But what's the best
is the words of wisdom from my dad. Haha!

The first day is almost ending and well let's look at the moment capture on camera.

2008-09-17T16:18:00.003+08:00

My daily mantra: Love wins. Love always wins.

I am not talking only love between you and your partner. It extends to the love for other mankind. Start by loving yourself. Embrace your flaws and weaknesses. Flaunt your strengths.

Love your parents, friends and colleagues even.

Learn to forgive yourself. Forgive others.

When you start giving your love to others, you will always be remembered. Even death can’t take that away.

We are often in constant denial when it comes to physical intimacy. We claim we want our personal space. But deep down we yearn for human contact. A friendly hug. A kiss on the cheeks.

Truth is…. we can’t get enough of it.

"The bravest are the tenderest. The loving are the daring"
-Henry Wadsworth Longfellow-

2008-09-05T20:07:00.002+08:00

Music is universal.
There is different type of songs for different occasions.

For example:

In a club, boy meet girl..
You get Nelly Furtado ft. Timbaland - Promiscuous

And when things get groovy..Angela Via - Baila Baila

Within the 6 months of the relationship..Dangerously In Love - Beyonce Knowles

Still in love but a quarrel occurs..Beyonce - wishing on a star

After the end of the "honeymoon period" things turn sour.
GF trying to act cool after the breakup. Miley Cyrus - 7 Things

Or the desperate GF begging for him to return..The Garden- Mirah

This is totally random! :D
And guess what?! I am not done with any of my assignments except for Accounts and yet I still waste time on unnecessary activities.

2008-08-22T15:30:00.004+08:00

RAIN & SHINE

The sky is gloomy again. Just like my thoughts nowadays. I have been trying to convince myself. La Tahzan. But my heart not willing to listen to my brain. Most likely they are not in good terms. There need to be some sort of co-ordination here. But resistance seems to be the issue.

It scares me most of the time. Again my problem. I have become accustom to being around him and relying so much on him when times are bad. I am worried if things don’t turn out right. How am I going to face it? The end result will be either to make it or to break it.

Like the law of nature, after the rain there will definitely be sunshine. And on better days, rainbows might appear. The flowers blooming and the birds chirping merrily. That is what I am waiting for.

He said I always expect the best. Who wouldn’t? If not, I won’t be considered human right? Yes I know because of such expectation it leads to destruction. But due to the same expectation, it brings me to where I am now. Being able to propel forward and sometimes exceed my own expectations.

And what those lectures taught me: To look at both sides of the coin. And choose a stand. Thus, I am choosing to stay with my beliefs.

After what I have went through and after alterations to my lifestyle, I am still firm with this one.

Some things just don’t and won’t change. :)

2008-08-21T13:13:00.004+08:00

It's great being blonde - with such low expectations it's easy to impress.

Pamela Anderson

I think we have grown apart. All of us. We have other commitments that need more attention. I have grown out of the fact we aint like how we used to be. That's okay. I am accepting the fact the distance will be hard to bridge in times to come. I am not trying to say I dont care or that I cant be bothered about us. I still do care. I still try as much to narrow the gap. I must admit. I miss us.

I miss alot of people and I cant do much. At the end of the day, it's the choice you make in life that determines your destiny.

It's a hell of a rollercoaster ride all year round. At least I felt like on top of the world for the past half a year. So far so good. Of course with some bitter moments. Apart from that life been on my side.

I have never been so close to someone in my entire life and some part of me..honestly not even my family is aware of it. It scares me that I have become an open book to him. The fear.

2008-08-13T17:17:00.002+08:00

Geram nak mampos sey ngan cleaner office.

Kerje tak seberapa, complain je lebih.. Eh bodoh betol ah! Kalau tak nak kerja cakap je ah.

Tak payah nak attitude kat sini. Dah lah bau tenggik, bergayut kat telephone 24 jam.

Dia ingat nie apa? Fun fair ke?

Kalau dah malas nak kerje tak payah nak order2 orang around. Aku boleh buat ah!

Pay bawak mari ah. Kasi aku. Duit nak, kerja half past six. Memang nak kena smack!

Eeeee..Macam nak cekik2!

2008-08-12T22:37:00.003+08:00

Being Cheeky!!

Am I really growing up way too slow here?

Only now that I begin to embrace that cheekiness in me and actually not feeling awkward about it!

Oh by the way..Confidence can be really sexy..

2008-08-12T13:36:00.002+08:00

Happy Belated National Day!!

to my dearest Singapore and my apologies if I forget how old you are.

It seems that I have lost track of time.I am feeling the pressure of juggling so many things at one time. There are so many things to accomplish with inadequate time..

I want to meet up with the friends..So many of them have yet to be met for a very long time! That includes Ashikin, Nurul and Shahdon..

I need to complete my tutorials which are long overdue..

I need to collect my raya clothes!

And I really need time to exercise!!

Hmmm..There seems to be lots of reading to be done too!

Have I mentioned how terribly I miss camwhoring? I want to have more pics taken!

And how bad I want to shop but I cant because believe it or not I am nearly broke!!

Such sacrifices to make at this age...Sigh!

Lastly, I want a hair make-over!

2008-07-31T13:32:00.001+08:00

My dearest colleagues never fail to surprise me with their antics. Mind you it can be reallyfatal to the mind, body and soul. I am totally blown away by how childish, annoying, weird,selfish and unprofessional these people who fall under the category; Mature Adults canbe. It even surprises me being the youngest and yet cause the least problems in the office. I am the most tolerant one in the bunch. I am the most mature one around.

How and why can that possibly happens? Hahaha!Hey! That's because they are only deemed mature by the increasing numbers to their age. They dont have what we known as COMMON SENSE!

I am currently wishing that I wont grow old in that way. Senseless with stinking attitude.
These people have failed to grasp the concept of empathy and inculcate dirty habit known as"blood suckers".

In primary school, we were taught Moral Education and how being courteous was given so muchimportance.Looks like they must have failed it badly. Or even if they passed it must be dueto the regurgitation method.

Life has been pretty good to me. Despite minor glitches, it actually progress on smoothly.In the meantime, I am very pleased and contented with what I have in Life. I'll be too greedy to ask for more.

Smile..Be positive. Like many have spoken or told: Life's too Short! And I cannot disagree to that.
----------------------------------------------------------------
To whom it may concern,

I am glad that you willingly take the plunge with me into the deep sea without any life jackets to keep us afloat.We have swam a thousand miles (okay I'm exagerrating!) and conquered our fears. We are still surviving and have yet to drown to the seabed. We are still alive and kicking!

Never once have I regretted my decision which was based on something else altogether. :) In fact, I am very grateful that I took that first step. Nevermind the fact that's totally off from my league. i am still glad that first step initiated blooms into an ardently-inscribed story. Our story.

It seems like a very long time since I put up an entry dedicated to you. Now, taking a teeny bit of my time to do this just makes me feel good. At least I know I still have a heart that beats not just for work! It can feel and potray emotions too..

Thank you for being by my side and hold my hand.

Yours truly..

--------------------------------------------------------------------
School have never felt so tiring before. I hope I can cope with the additional bulk on my shoulder. I hope I wont collapse. I am hoping for the best and all these are for my future.

2008-07-20T00:01:00.007+08:00

Did you play your cards right?

The late Heath Ledger who once starred Broke Back Mountain nailed a character such as the Joker so well it sent chills down my spine. That performance deserves standing ovation. Seriously.

I am not of any way a fan of Batman movies eventhough I watched them all. However, I have to say Dark Knight did not disappoint tonight. It cant be better written than what it is.

Dissecting the story into parts, it shows the chain reaction of your choice..

By a flip of coin, everything changes..
By that flip of coin, it destroys..

Hey, this leads me on to this..
No choice is a choice of its own

2008-07-17T17:49:00.001+08:00

This is no fun. Staying in a room isolated from everyone else. It feels like I am being quarantined due to some contagious illness. I am feeling bored here. I can’t deny the fact that I am more productive since there’s lesser distraction BUT I definitely cannot survive being alone in this room. Hate the emptiness and loneliness. ARGH!!!! Please rescue me from this ordeal. As of today, it has been close to 3 weeks I habituate this place.

Now, I am wishing for the renovation to end as soon as possible so as to unleash myself from this torture chamber!! Well..well..It sounds like some theatrical performance going on here. Hey, I am capable of making things look dramatic. I’m the queen of exaggeration.

I think I have shed all my bitchiness away for the time being. It has gone away with the less frequent drama performance. Negligible in fact. SIGH!!

Have I actually make a mess out of my life? Mockery? Hmmmm..I am clueless.
I cant seem to come to a conclusion. My work? Has been depressing. My morale is very very low. I keep believing I am not cut for this firm and the job it offers. *CRIES*

This entry is extremely random.

Point to take note: Date with Mr. Dark knight on Saturday! Whee!!

2008-07-14T15:53:00.003+08:00

In the "block" state. Be it mentally as well as physically. My right ear suffers from some blockage. It's a very uncomfortable. By the way, I cant find any issues to bring to the table now. All I can say is..I am being occupied most of the time and for some weird reasons..I am not tired.

Seemingly I am out of blogging ideas..Hope to continue soon.

2008-07-06T18:34:00.004+08:00

Pocketful of Sunshine!!

Pocketful of Sunshine - Natasha Bedingfield.mp3 -

2008-07-05T12:05:00.007+08:00

My Weird taste for Music

Ke_Mana_Kau_Pergi. - Mahadhir_feat_Mas_Idayu

2008-07-04T17:46:00.000+08:00

Anyone who has yet to watch Angelina Jolie in action in her new movie WANTED might want to catch it this weekend. I shall not proceed to comment about the movie as my comments won’t do much justice to this great movie.

Yet another overdue entry from me. School starts OFFICIALLY on 30th June 2008 and my level of frustration is beyond words. The Administrative Department is in total mess and they are extremely annoying. Should have take the hints and heed the advices. My mistake for poor judgment and I cant back out now. I shall take this like a hit and run case.

On the brighter note, the law lectures seem pretty smooth sailing and impressive. To top it all, I will be graduating under UOL like any other. Need to work EXTRA hard. Especially in terms of obtaining relevant resources.

Hey Hey! I am a more positive person now. Shikin..I am not so negative afterall okay. Haha!
As mentioned in my earlier entry, I love the current materials I am reading. It’s like soul cleansing session.

Talking about cleansing..I want to have my Spa indulgence soon. Before the fasting month. I hope the plan goes on well and we shall head for our getaway session in August. I really REALLY need it badly!!

I have been trying to crack my brain to find places which I can visit during the weekend. Singapore is getting very very crowded I tell you! Well..well.. I have found a few good places to visit. You will be surprise what you can find in “Ulu pandan” places such as Toa Payoh, Sengkang and Hougang! HAHAHAHA!! I’m lovin’ it!

It’s 5:44pm!! Whee! TGIF!!! Hurrah!! Packing up now. Office under renovation and I am under isolation period. Feeling lonely in a room all to myself!!!! Or at least can increase productivity..(Ya right!) hmmmm…

2008-06-22T20:58:00.002+08:00

My randomness strikes back..

Dear Miss,

Don't be too driven by emotions because it is not worth it.
Don't dwell on what have happened because the present is what matters.
God is never cruel.
If sadness enter your life now, happiness definitely will come knocking your door.
If it is meant to be, it will.
You cant run away from fate.
Stay strong..

Love,
Halimah :)

Recently, I have been doing much of reading and you will never guess what I read. I borrowed books which sadly to say I have neglected before. It calms my nerves and allows my mind to be at peace. In any way, I have been trying to revamp my life. It is definitely not easy. It's like Jihad.

I am being less and less productive nowadays. It frustrates me so much that I cant get many things done like how I used.

It's my first love and I wish it to be my last..

You warm my heart..

2008-06-08T12:34:00.002+08:00

PROCRASTINATION. Yet again!
I have not been very diligent at studies for sure. TWO assignments! I still cant complete both. Plus no Tutoring today supposedly to make things easier. Unfortunately it didnt because I failed to utilise that precious time. Instead I start browsing friendster and typing this entry.
Delay is not only for the assignments but other activities as well i.e.

- To watch Samurai X series (I'm still stuck at Disc 2 out of 12!!)
- To finish reading up the library books
- To finish reading the Crim Law guide[Chap: Defence]
- To fold piles of clothes and chuck inside the wardrobe
- To visit the optometrist: my eyesight is failing me :(
- To call up AVIVA: taking too long to reply my letter. Sigh.

I shall not continue with the list or I'll get a fright myself.
In a few minutes, I am heading to a Wedding invitation @ Tampines. And ya! I still have yet to find the colour!!

I need to start the list soon or perhaps now!! Bye.

2008-06-07T11:18:00.002+08:00

It was so clear from the very beginning.
He have one thing in his mind. Fear.
It is undeniably that the only solution he ever thought of. Separation.
Disappointment cant be any obvious than this.
The way she gathers courage and stay strong. Heart-wrenching.
Pretense. Such an act to hide vulnerability.

.....

The same topic keep dwelling in the household. I dont even know how to approach it. The talks make me really angry at times.
How she behaves recently. It is perfectly fine to be in a relationship BUT to neglect everything else is not so wise. Anyway, she is not mature enough for this and I fear it more when she is with him. He is not someone I fancy to be with her. He is too questionable to deserve my approval. It is really a challenge to approach this because I dont want to appear busybody.

If the parent dont want to take the active role in discipling, who else will?
External parties can only advise but nothing much to it. She being that defiant makes me want to give her a tight slap. I dont want someone I know too well to be a victim to temptation. That will be the last thing I want.
I wonder how much damage is done.
I wonder how corrupted it has been.
Parenting is not easy. One need to be diplomatic especially when it comes to such matter.
And importantly, proper education needs to be inculcated since young. The naive days.
Like a malay saying:"Melentur buluh biar dari rebungnya"
Translated version: "Taming the bamboo starts when it's a shoot"

...

After a hectic week at work, it reaches the abyssal period.

...

With reference to the tagboard, I am excited about 2008 Baju Raya. I need to go hunting of it soon. Still undecided: the colours, ready-made or tailor-made? Hmmm....

2008-06-01T21:51:00.001+08:00

Leona Lewis Lyrics
Bleeding Love Lyrics

2008-05-26T21:38:00.002+08:00

Feeling so uninspired to attempt my project. Instead I waste the time on browsing the friendster. Sigh. In need to come out with something fruitful/substantial for tomorrow's meeting. It is ONLY Monday, the time is ticking by painfully slow and I am already running out of energy. Shag. Received a message early this morning. Thought of THAT opportunity. But decided to throw it down the drain. Past. What's on my mind. Opened an email @ work. Him. He was kind enough to do up my monthly budget. The result: Impressive. Now, I am left with approximately less than an hour to read, digest & type. Fade.

2008-05-25T17:06:00.003+08:00

I CAN HEAR THE KOMPANG PLAYING!! Kpak Bing Bing..Ahai!

I've gotten my invitation card!!! Thanks to Mr. Double E. HAHA!
I have no idea why am I looking forward to it.
I am always excited about my friend's wedding since I have missed one last year.
I hope i dont miss this one. It is not because that I am excited to watch the bride and groom on the dais but the fact that I am going to meet the old friends. That's going to be very interesting!
Somewhat like an awkward reunion perhaps? haha.
Ashikin, hope you don't have anything on that day and you are up to this challenging errmmm..challenge? Hehe.

2008-05-21T20:29:00.003+08:00

When I was young, I fell in love
I asked my sweetheart what lies ahead
Will we have rainbows, day after day
Here's what my sweetheart said.

Que Sera, Sera,
Whatever will be, will be
The future's not ours, to see
Que Sera, Sera
What will be, will be.

2008-05-18T17:44:00.002+08:00

I giggled so much while uploading the video below.
Finally, i make myself look at this song in a different perspective altogether.
Very light-hearted yet true!

-----------------

The past two days I was down. About my bad skin. It is so prone to acne/pimples. I cant erase this from my mind..
"Oh ya now I recall. But I didnt remember her having that many pimples. Haha"
Argh! Do you how it feels? Very depressing. I tried to convince myself that my skin has improve but it failed! I started to feel crappy because I have been putting in alot of effort to make it better.
When will it come a time I have flawless skin?! Hmmmm....

*skip lamentation*

On the brighter note, he secures a job already! Congratulation awak! :)
And it is not ORD yet. He is indeed very lucky. He nailed it on the 1st interview. I am so jealous! This make me have a stronger urge to find a new job. Start earning big bucks as compared to the measly amount i am earning now. Shall wait till July. The increment month. If it is not up to expectation I shall quit!!

There are times that I cant believe what I am doing with my life.
I thrust myself into a whirlpool of unfamiliarity.
I don't even know whether this is going to work out well.
I jumped without giving it a deeper thought.
Now, I am here. I cant turn back against what I have decided.
I need to persevere. I need to stay firm on the ground.
I wont collapse without any attempts.
So far,it has been a good start despite the glitches.
Now the challenge is to make it a good ending.
I have 3 years to make it right.

----------------------

May I ask?
Is this an auspicious year to get married?

Many friends are married or getting married this year.
It really makes me feel weird.
For sure, I am not influence to speed up marriage just because of them.
I am just curious of this phenomenon.

Ps: HAFIZ is getting married. I am invited!!! HAHAHA!

2008-05-11T21:02:00.002+08:00

If you find America's Next Top Model great..
Check out Australia's Next Top Model. It's the Cycle 4!

2008-05-09T21:46:00.004+08:00

Finally settled with this skin. Took me a very long time to decide on it. What more with me still recovering from flu. The virus is getting to my brain. Changing a skin never been this painstaking before.

I found a skin just nice to fit my pictures and videos in it.

Movies I wanna watch so bad..

IRON MAN

Ayat-Ayat Cinta..

2008-05-09T21:41:00.001+08:00

I have always admire people who pen their ideas well. And currently, this person is no exception. Shikin introduced him via her LJ. Since today I have plenty of time, I decided to take a peek into his blog. He reminds me so much of Alfian Sa'at. University graduates and both love to talk about the Malay community. Similar train of thought i presume.

In anyway, this guy possess a very witty sense of humor. His blog is worth reading.

Let's put that aside and change the topic. School started on 21st April 2008. Not officially yet.
Just the induction programmes. And what I am about to say hopefully wont get me a lawsuit in my letterbox.. Their Administrative Department is in dire need of proper organisation. In layman terms, it sucks! I shall not provide further justification to my words. The "wrongly-issued-textbooks-plus-no-confirmation-as-yet-about-my-subject-changes" proves everything. Period.

Apart from that I am pretty excited to start school proper eventhough it will be taxing. I hope the burning desire to learn wont die off soon after the commencement in July.

----------------------------------------------

I was on a jam-packed activities starting from 1st May 2008.

Let me fill you in with the necessary since I have been updating since I dont know when.

1st May 2008

Started the day early. 9am. When to tutor my student since her Paper 1 was on the next day.
Reached home and took a short nap. Woke up. Went out with him. My treat to the Breeks!

2nd May 2008

After work, met him again. Hmm..for the second time in a week. Met up for dinner and headed home.

3rd May 2008

Headed down to town. In search of his shoes but to no avail. Instead I got something for myself!

4th May 2008

Morning jog. Slept. Tutoring AGAIN!

5th May 2008

Met up with Shahdon and Ashikin for dinner. At Simpang Bedok! (which I wrongly-typed as Bedok Corner). It was the Singapura way! Fun! I've decided to head back there with my parents and maybe with him (on separate days of course!)

The dinner was on Shahdon! Thanks ya! Totally appreciate it!
And he is on his way to Temburong, Brunei as I type this out.

I have never felt so bloated before. We ordered like we have 6 people eating it. When it was just the 3 of us.

T3 was nothing spectacular. Except its interior design is pretty nice.
What you expect when Singapore spent a bomb on it?!

The 'Hot Seat' thingy really spiced up the night.
Only that Shahdon's too shy to answer our 'intimate' questions.

6th May 2008

Watched Harold and Kumar: Escape from Guantanamo Bay with my colleague, Christa. Hilarious! But way too explicit for me and I think for her.
Quite shocked to watch too many topless and bottomless scenes in one night.

7th May 2008

Hey guess what?
By this time, I already felt sick! Took 1/2 day and went to work in the afternoon.
And I still dragged myself to Bugis Street and shopped. I couldnt believe myself!
At the end of it, I was half-dead. Felt crappy. My face was red. It felt as though I can collapse any moment.

8th May 2008

I was down with FLU! Slept the whole day.

9th May 2008

Was supposed to resume work today but still felt sick.
Took another day MC.

I am beginning to believe that I am aging too fast for my age.
I cant even handle the abovementioned schedule without making myself fall sick. Haiz!

2008-05-03T14:17:00.002+08:00

Dear all..

Please bear with this blogskin for awhile..
Will do the re-constructioning of this blog once I am less occupied with stuffs.
Now, how I wish that my office computer has the access to Blogger and other related websites..
I am deprive of updating my bloggie! There are plenty of things to pen down but there seem to be no opportunities at all.

Since I have come this far to drop a message I might as well progress further by posting an entry right?

It's the 1st weekend of the month! GST offset package money received! People are queueing up impatiently to cash their cheques. So typical!

Oh well...That's not what I want to go to actually. Shah's back from Brunei and left for KL yesterday. We still have yet to have an outing together. Like what is that suppose to be? Haha!

Since I am assigned the honourable task to do the co-ordination of outing..Let's make sure we at least have one ya?

Dear NURUL, ASHIKIN and SHAHDON..
Please reply to this message as soon as possible!
We need to decide on a day for the outing.. I thought of Monday 5/5/2008.
And the venue..Just a simple dinner where we can have plenty of time to talk perhaps?
Or would you all prefer a whole day outing?
I seek your confirmation fast!
Thanks!

Dear Nadira..
When is the most favoured day to go out? I prefer on the 7th May.
Update me ya?
Thanks.

----------------------

Craving for that shopping spree at Bugis Village on a weekday..Cepat2 ye awk?!

2008-05-02T14:13:00.000+08:00

Curiosity starts to boil up and my very own detective game begins. Piecing bits of information together. Weighing the probability. That lengthy revelation keeps playing in my mind like some kind of good old movie. It’s like an unexpected twist to a perfect fairytale. What you see are superficial. What’s between the lines are preposterous.

I shall keep mum and not to blurt out anything. Should keep reminding myself that since I have this itchy mouth and the tendency to spill the beans.

Actually, the beans have been spilled not long ago. HAHA! I succumb to my very own temptation. Well well..Lucky the secret remains between us. Hope it will remain like this.

Been meaning to update my blog for so many weeks but I keep diverting my attention to other things..

I will try to update it soonest possible and change my twisted Blogskin..

Need to start working once again..Tada!

2008-04-12T19:07:00.002+08:00

My New Found Idol

Keluar pagi balik petang

Adakala sampai malam

Cari rezeki bawa pulang

Buat orang yang tersayang

ooo bersabarlah

Wajahmu dimana mana

Senyum kasih mesra kasih

Cinta murni kan bersemi

Bersama ketulusan budi

ooo bersemilah

[Bridge]

Lama kucarik rahsia kaseh

Rindu kaseh untuk berkaseh

Senang senang duduk di serambi

Senandung lagu puisi

Zikir zaman nyanyian zaman

[Chorus]

Andai kasturi hilang harum

Mawar tak berkuntum

Cinta tak bersambung

Biar emas setinggi gunung

Kan ku peluk rimbun ampun

Rahmat yang Maha Agung

2008-04-11T21:22:00.002+08:00

Feast your eyes with my yet another blogskin with a tinge of Asian delights.
Not been updating religiously but will definitely attempt an entry before the week ends.

I AM AWFULLY BROKE!!!
In need of some kind of miracle to happen. Like money drop down from the sky? Or the least dramatic one..ERS money!!

Before I blabber non-stop will end here for now.
Good Night!

2008-03-30T21:43:00.008+08:00

Short but Swweeet!!

I want to do this more often if we have the chance to.
Very enjoyable and economical as well.

Let's pretend to be......

My Ultimate Sadistic Picture!

2008-03-24T21:48:00.003+08:00

The Fun Fair Affair
Beyond the neon lights and child laughter
You held that gaze that made my heart skipped a beat..

2008-03-24T21:40:00.000+08:00

This is a story about him and her.
She, who waited foolishly for him to return by her side.
He, who thinks that his "adorable" nature can bring him far.
My intention is not to intrude into their world.
I just cant stand the fact that he never learn his lesson and she cant let go.

I was once a victim but thankfully I realized my stupidity before it stray away too far.
If I still have yet to get over it I might as well give myself a tight slap.
I am a happier person after being fooled into that so called "love".

He thinks that his looks can woo every female on this universe and that his sweet words melt everyone hearts.
He thinks his good looks score lots of points but he fails to see that his lack of intellectual ability and immaturity score higher points as well.

He failed to see the pureness of her heart. He ridiculed her love. He abused the situation and made it seem that she wronged him.
He is too proud to allow himself to be the one in the wrong.
She is a fool to believe she was the one who wronged him and apologized.
She begged for his love and is under his mercy.

Why?
Why jump into pool of misery when you can lead a happier life without him?
What makes you think he loves you as much as you love him?
If he loves you, he would have made a small sacrifice for you.
When a guy fall in loves, he loves dearly.
Pardon me if I'm wrong but from what I can see..
He easily chucked you aside to pursue fame.
He easily pick himself up while you still shed endless tears.

You should be shedding tears of joy that you don't end up with someone as egoistic and selfish as him.
When he said you deserves someone better. Believe it. You do deserves someone thousand times better than him.
My hope is to see you finally move on and find a new definition of happiness.
It doesn't necessarily evolves around him. In fact, happiness might be away from him. :)

Please stop inflicting pain to the heart. It's unhealthy. Seriously.

Maybe my perception is very prejudice. Sorry.

2008-03-23T20:21:00.002+08:00

Again, my entry always come very very late..As requested by Nadira somewhere in early March, I shall post up the 10 random things now

1. I am beginning to feel that his skin is much more smoother than mine. Argh!! I have been taking extra care for my skin. Regular scrubbing and sufficient moisturising.I'm slowly turning into a freak..

2. Addiction to Korean Dramas isn't that healthy afterall. It cause you to be broke before the end of the month and encourage the development of eye bags due to late nights. *Sigh*

3. Finally my office computer has been upgraded to Windows XP and I am able to access to MSN! What a delightful activity I can engage myself in. Hehe!

4. I am having a date with Ms Nadira Bte Zainal on Friday and to indulge in another dramatic experience. Really looking forward to it. Hehe!

5. Met up with Shikin on the eve of Good Friday with the initial plan on watching Rule #1 at Century Square. However, since we both thought that it was better to spend some quality time together, we headed for Pizza Hut. HAHA! I felt she have taken over my "chimpanzee"ness and I cant help it but to laugh.

6.This is the 1st time in my 22nd years of living that I bumped into two guys who got not much of the look but flirt around like there is no tomorrow. A total turn-off.

7. Currently, a Chinese neighbour of my aunt thinks that I'm drop dead gorgeous and have the intention of match-making his son with me!!! I am so flabbergasted! He even think of converting his son into a Muslim. *faints*

8. I saw my junior Damai Secondary counsellor last week when he decided to barge into my privacy during my word search game in the bus. What a coincidence!

9. My Mak's Birthday is just around the corner and I bought for her an advanced gift. I am so proud of myself. I presented her with something she can use continuously.

10. Our relationship may seem low profile due to the fact that very minimal information has been disclose publicly. It does not mean you don't matter or that I refuse to talk about you. I think by now you know the reason why. Apart from this, I want to let you know no words can describe what we go through together. No words is comparable to my feelings. I don't care even if the world is against us. I will keep holding on to the same promise we made the last 2 years. Who cares if they feel you aint good looking for their liking? All that are superficial. And it's me who is with you. Not them. Let the world talk 'cos they don't know what really is in the heart.

Tada! Done..

2008-03-08T12:00:00.000+08:00

If this is love..It is a painful ordeal..

2008-03-07T13:56:00.002+08:00

Currently am addicted to Korean Dramas..
I love to watch them speak..So animated. Very adorable.
Any kind souls out there that can lend me Korean DVDs or recommend me any good Korean Dramas so that I can hunt for them?

2008-02-29T10:57:00.001+08:00

I prefer to be messy now. Thus, I came up with this entry. Unorganized and appears haphazard.
-------------------------

Stepping into the student’s shoes in April and I think that will definitely spice up my monotonous lifestyle. It will transform my schedule from slack to hectic. I’ve been lazing around too long. Need to gear up into action as soon as possible.

At times, life is a pain in the ass. Which, unfortunately, also seems to apply to my colleagues. Opps! Pardon my bitchiness.. It gets really hard to contain oneself when it comes to such matter.
Ps: Some can’t even pronounce zero properly and still have the cheek to talk about others.

How on earth did I bump into my past? And my present seems to bother me as well.
Please don’t tell me this is ‘THE’ test ‘cos I’m pretty sure I’ll pass with flying colours. Afterall, I’m a distinction student in this subject you call “Loyalty”.

Friends. I have been quite unaware of the “what’s happening” in their lives. Maybe ‘cos I’m a little too caught up in my own world. Too busy sorting out my life. Too busy watching those DVDs. Too busy thinking of the next course of action. Too occupied with God-knows-what. Or perhaps I don’t have many friends to catch up with for a start. Perhaps…perhaps..perhaps..

I am missing theatre already! Please save me..

At times, the people you think are family turn out to be the perfect stranger while vice versa happens. Sigh. Again, life seems unpredictable with every step you take forward.

Boys make a better friend than girls. Period.

When I have a house of my own, I want to furnish it with IKEA purchases.

I AM VERY POSITIVE THAT I AM UNDERPAID!!

2008-02-19T17:25:00.001+08:00

Been away for a very long time..

Here’s what I have been up to since my last update:-

CNY’s Break

It was the best ever! Enjoyed it thoroughly till I had to drag myself out of bed on the Monday morning for work. Sianzzzz..

Went out with him almost everyday. Watched Sweeny Todd the 6th February and he was sweet enough to accompany despite the fact it’s a Thriller. The movie was okay and Johnny Depp was fabulous as usual.

On Friday, my first ever picnic and I cooked! Wahaha! Don’t ask me how I managed to do it without burning my entire kitchen. It was pure luck. CNY remember?

Cant get enough of each other? Again, we went out on Saturday but for a short while.

So the bottomline, CNY was spent solely with him. Haha!

Oh I forget to jot this..
I WAS under depression and at the verge of giving up all hope.
I even took leave from work on Tuesday just to clear the mess in my mind and also to allow the puffiness reduce in size.
That relaxation really works its magic!

VALENTINES’ DAY

Oh well, SMSed my Valentines’ day wishes to the ladies. No flowers or chocolates for me AGAIN. He didn’t believe in ALL these. Sheesh! What to do..Haha!

Despite that, I think it was a sweet evening.

Company’s CNY Dinner

BORING! *capitalize and bold*
Nothing new I suppose. The only difference is what I had that day. Hilarious!
Shall post up my 5 course dinner pictures soon.

I was supposed to meet up with Nadira after CNY dinner but cancelled it ‘cos it’s too late. Had phone conversation with her instead. A great one indeed. :)

MY HOPE

Now, I’m praying hard that my application get through and things go on smoothly.
It’s alright if they don’t support me.
I have him, her and them with me!
That’s enough for me to rock the world!

2008-02-07T22:21:00.000+08:00

From HIM to HER

The Heart Never Lies

Some people laugh, some people cry
Some people live, some people die
Some people run, right into the fire
Some people hide their every desire
But we are the lovers

If you don't believe me
Then just look into my eyes
'cause the heart never lies

Some people fight, some people fall
Others pretend they don't care at all
If you wanna fight I'll stand right beside you
The day that you fall I'll be right behind you
To pick up the pieces

If you don't believe me
Just look into my eyes
'cause the heart never lies

Woah

Woah

Another year over, and we're still together
It's not always easy, but I'm here forever
We are the lovers

I know you believe me
When you look into my eyes
'cause the heart never lies
Hey

And we are the lovers
I know you believe me
When you look into my eyes
'cause the heart never lies

Oh-oh-woah
Woah

Another year over, and we're still together
It's not always easy, but I'm here forever

Yeah we are the lovers, I know you believe me
When you look into my eyes
'cause the heart never lies

'cause the heart never lies

Because the heart never lies

-----------

From HER to HIM

You lit up my dark nights and shelter me from stormy days..
You are my reason for staying and not departing..
And you are right, the heart never lies :)

Ps: Thanks for the comfort and care today. Loves..

2008-02-05T13:46:00.000+08:00

Opened up a fresh word document with the intention to write a short-story in Malay.
My good intention failed since I faced alot of difficulty coming up with descriptive words in Malay. I, unconsciously, started to think in English and I had to resort to the Oxford Malay-English dictionary as an aid.

It began to turn out time-consuming and decided to call it quit. Shite!

It is always the case when you are too used to doing everything in English?
If it is, then it is very depressing for me now.
My future goal is to publish my own book in Malay mind you and now this is happening to me.
Perhaps, I'm just exaggerating here but it will definitely need effort to pick-up that same old writing skill I once possessed. Sigh.

Oh by the way, I'm just done with looking through Johnny Deep's filmography and my respect for his acting carreer just step up a notch. I wasnt a fan of him until recently. The way he portrayed different character is astounding. The moral of the story is: Never go for the norm.

2008-02-01T19:14:00.000+08:00

Who moved my cheese?

A story once told is now spread like wild fire.
Spread those positivity and optimism throughout.
I am glad I came across it because it changes my perception.

A new month brings a new set of changes.
I need to somehow switch from that autopilot to manual mode.
I need to be more independent now.
Now, I really believe what my dad repeatedly tell me..
Don't rely on others but yourself!
His words prove to be right.
I am confident the close ones will help but I was disappointed by the outcome.
I broke down in despair.
Anyway, thank you to my listening ear, whom ignite that passion when someone decided to blow it off.
I promise to fight all the way and make ALL of you proud.

Thanks Mak and Ayah..
Your approval and support really means the whole world to me.

2008-02-01T18:57:00.000+08:00

Devil wears Prada was mind-blowing.
On the other hand, MY FATHER deserves some credits for the well-crafted portrayal of father-son relationship.
I never knew that it aches so much. I never knew that a certain connection can occur.
Language isn't a barrier or a limitation to pure enjoyment!

I am currently addicted to movie marathon. It's simply divine laying on your bed while indulging oneself with a good movie.
Daily therapy I must say.

Well...
What's next on my list?

More self-indulgence?
Let's begin by doing something to the woman's crown! *ponders*

Who says money cant buy happiness?
Oh..Maybe not too often.
-------

Money is not everything. Was offered a better salary but rejected it.
Call me Stupid but I think I am smart.
To work for someone that constantly elevate your blood pressure isn't healthy.
I am not going to continuously entertain ridiculous behavior from him.
He irritates me more than I can imagine.
AND the worse thing..he did it with a smile!
Cunning as a fox!

There you have it, my rant for the day. About work. Totally unnecessary!
That's why it is publicize here you see. Not in some hidden diary.

Written on:
Monday,28th January 2008

2008-01-27T21:56:00.000+08:00

Big Girls Don't Cry...

2008-01-27T13:18:00.000+08:00

In pursuit of happiness..

I think you deserve a spot in my blog and I also think I owe you an apology.
Again, I am the one who started it all.
And again, I ruined that day.
I dragged you from the East to the West just to purchase my desired gadget.
I am sorry for doing the things I did out of anger and my egoistic mindset.
I am sorry at the start of this New Year I have already broken a promise.
What I had written as my resolution, I failed to apply right at the very beginning.
You can call me Stubborn, Ego or whatever you deem fit and I wont say a word.
I know I am in the wrong. Therefore, I am trying to amend it.

This apology come a little too late since that event was a few weeks ago.
BUT I feel oblige to let you know I am trying my best to make it up to you.
I know you have forgiven me without me even trying hard to apologize.
Nonetheless, one cant be very ignorant about another person's feeling.
I have hurt you countless of times..
Sorry.

2008-01-01T13:37:00.000+08:00

Feeling nostalgic at the moment and I came across this song..
What a perfect moment.
When I first listen to it, that's when I know I fall in love.

I put this on loop. As I continuously listen to it, the lyrics just sink in deep into my heart.
How true are those words I cant seem to conjure..
How perfect it describe what I was incapable of..
Ah! I'm such a hopeless romantic to my surprise.

2007-12-30T18:34:00.000+08:00

As promised, I shall disclose the answers for my 7th December entry.

1) The murderer is the crew because he was telling a lie.
*hint: Think of Japan's flag*

2) If you choose (a), you are a two timer in your relationship.
If you choose (b), you are loyal n faithful to your partner.
If you choose (c), you are a flirt!!

That's it for the day..Bye!

2007-12-30T17:04:00.000+08:00

At the shrine of friendship Never say die, Let the wine of friendship never run dry.
~ Les Misérables ~

Just one more day before a new chapter begins. It will mark the unforgettable events that you will cherish or despise for the years to come. I've said enough before and I wont bother to repeat myself. Let's just feast our eyes with the natures' beauty instead.

2007-12-18T10:56:00.000+08:00

2007 is coming to an end while 2008 is nearing hopefully bringing along with it another 12 months of joyous moments.

2007 has indeed been another year to remember. I entered the year not knowing what to expect and in turn I received a whole lots of unexpected things.

The beginning of the year I struggled to adapt to the working world and decided to break away from theatre for quite a while. It was such a surprise when calculation was made and I came up with 1 year of non-existence in theatre. That’s a very long period I must say. And true enough, as predicted I faced difficulties to re-adapt into that as well.

So much adaptation was done. So much struggled faced. That just made me a better person (hopefully).

This year not only was it merely events of adaptation but also 12 months a various tests of faith and trust.

I could explain no further how much it takes to be constantly challenged emotionally. It was definitely draining. I could never keep track of how many times I shed tears for the people I cherish the most. How many times disappointment hits right in front of my face.. and how many times I thought of giving up all hopes but eventually hold on because I still believe. I still care. I care too much in fact to let go.

I know I have made a HUGE mistake due to my ego. That is not taking your hand whenever you need me to. And I even refuse to make the first move to make things better. My ego is just too huge.

For all that, I apologize and as one of the New Year’s resolution, I would love to improve on this aspect.

In conjunction with the closure of 2007, I would like to make a closing speech before I fly off in two days time.

Such beautiful memories have been carved in my mind for 2007 and all these can never happen without the people around me i.e. my friends, family and him.

I am thanking ALL of you whom in one way or another successfully bring joy and add colors to my not-so colorful life.

Thanks to Nurul, Ashikin and Shahdon for staying as my friends eversince our unglamorous years in Damai Secondary School. I hope our friendship remains for many2 years to come. And yes people, we have grown up and some changes are inevitable and perhaps vital to us.

Thanks to YOU for making me feel so special and let’s pray we can survive this rocky journey together. I really cherish you!

Thanks to Nadira for those fashion advises. Hehe! And most importantly, for being that uber sweet friend throughout. Hey, it’s almost 3 years since our very first outing after Devdas production right? And it fell on New Year? Haha! What a New Year back then. J

And to those whose names are not mentioned above, rest assured you are still remembered. And pardon me for not including your names here.

Lastly, SELAMAT HARI RAYA AIDILADHA, MERRY CHRISTMAS and HAPPY NEW YEAR in advance to ALL Bloggers!!

Will update again a week from now!

2007-12-14T13:45:00.000+08:00

I just come to a realisation that I have not been posting nothing else other than mere words.
Okay, I know it is highly depressing to just stare at word after word in a blog. I cant find the time to post up pictures and thus I cant fulfill a request on posting pictures of what's happening in Singapore.

I will update religiously this weekend by posting up any due photos or entries before I go on a 6 days hiatus.

Let me jot down the list of items/things I wish to get for myself for Christmas/New Year

2 pair of dresses
A Pair of jeans
4-5 new tops/blouses
Exclusive/ Exquisite accessories
Medium-sized Handbag
2 pairs of shoes

Haha! I think it sounds like alot of spending need to be done. Nevermind. Self-indulgence before I proceed on a strict budget by January 2008

2007-12-11T19:00:00.000+08:00

Tomorrow I OFFICIALLY need not have to come into the Office! Let's celebrate!
I am going for a course and that's why I am still in the office at this hour trying to clear as many pending work as possible before I go MIA the day after.

I am pretty worried about my fate for January 2008 since the performance of my superior is not so fantastic. Shit! I hate to think about the bad bonus. Cross fingers and hope things will get better within this few days. Not much money coming in and I am VERY scared that we are unable to pull off this month's Billing.

Enough said about the above. Maybe I shall move on to non-work related topics instead. My countdown is ON! 9 more days.. and 2 weeks to ehem ehem ehem! Wahaha! This is really very exciting indeed.

Beside work, I am trying to clear off the pending project I am currently pursuing. I never knew that it will be this hard. Thorough research need to be done and I better try to come with something fast.

So for those who are involve, I will forward it to you guys in due course.

Apologies for the delay. It will definitely be alive and kicking!

2007-12-10T14:02:00.000+08:00

Yesterday, I surfed the Net for hours since it was my relax-one-corner day. I started to search for any relevant websites to find out more about Taiwan night markets and the hotels I am going to stay in. Very exciting.

I dont even realise that somewhere along the way I digressed to the Star Cruise website. Haha! Jaw-dropping promotions!!

I want MY DREAM CRUISE!! Please..

2007-12-07T13:13:00.000+08:00

I am doing my update in the office again since my home PC is not willing to put me through the Blogger website which I dont know why.

Anyway, let me ask you guys a riddle to crack and a question to answer. Kindly leave your wonderful answers on my TagBoard.

1) A murder took place in a Japanese Navy ship at 2 am. The police questioned all who were on board.

Captain: Sir, I was sleeping when the murder took place.
Cook: I was cooking..
Crew: The flag was upside down..So I turn it upright again
Anchorman: I was anchoring

The Police immediately arrest the murderer. Who is the murderer and why?

2) Close your eyes and imagine you are walking through a forest. Suddenly, you come across a cave and enter it. What did you see inside the cave?
Please choose one of the following.

a) A canned food
b) Dead body
c) Treasure chest

Happy trying! The answers will be revealed in my next entry.

2007-12-05T18:52:00.000+08:00

I have been MIA-ing for the past 2 weeks from here due to many-many reasons and one of them is that I really cant find the time to do the updating.

I have plenty to pour out here and let's do it in sequence from the earliest to the recent events.

On 1st December 2007, Saturday happened to be the most terrible day of my life. It started bad and then it got worst. That particular morning I woke up for Drama rehearsal as per normal only to find the cast members seemed no where in sight. Okay I waited. Then found out from Nad that the co-lead was still taking his beautiful SLEEP. Argh!! I waited till I got sleepy. I did not perform during the rehearsal and struggle with the monologue. GUESS what?! ALL due to my OVER-CONFIDENCE thinking that I can pull it off without reading the script many2 times. Shit! Did I just confessed something here? *hides self and let NO one finds out*

After rehearsal, I met him and thought my unfortunate events stopped when the clock strikes 3pm. BUT no. It didnt happen that way. I had forgotten to book the movie tickets and cancelled the plan. Ended up at Mustafa shopping for toiletries when suddenly felt very faint. As though the people around sucked up my energy. I felt like shit. Dragging my feet to the train station and wishing to get a bite asap. It never felt that good after a hearty meal at KFC. I never eaten so much during a single meal before.

The day proceeded quite well until it was time to go home. I felt very very cold and physically and mentally shagged. I didnt know why it all happened that way. It felt like 24km route march! Haiz. Shivered like no one business. Upon reaching home, I laid on the bed and headed straight to dreamland.That was how shagged I was.

Okay, I have turned a day even into a 3 paragraph short-story. Wonderful!

Proceeding to the recent events..

I am currently typing away in my office. Yes, I am still in the office drafting WILLS. Those documents drive me crazy. I cant stand it!!

Somehow, in the office, I have so much inspiration pouring out that I begin to enjoy blogging in the office after 6pm. Haha! I really need to get a life!

After so much delay, finally managed to watch "ENCHANTED". Ahhhhhhhhh.. Uber sweet!
*sings* I have been dreaming of a true love kiss...

It's a movie worth watching. Tuesday night was well-spent and free food never fails to make me happy. *winks*

----------------------

By the way, before I forget..Special Thanks to Shikin and Nurul for making dining at Ramen Ten fun! :) See you guys soon. And yes, Life have to move on people!

2007-11-17T17:29:00.000+08:00

You know what I miss the most right now?
I miss YOU. *sigh*

I finally get my hands on acting once over again and it never felt better. Only that certain things just aint the same. With all that said, they aint a bad bunch afterall. Haha! Maybe you just cant judge from what you see because they might deceive you. Just like how I was deceived by certain people. I need to expect the unexpected.

The short get-to-know session really tells alot about someone. How they view things and how they react to it. I think sociology and human psychology are two subjects that's worth studying for. HAHA!

I am mentally shag right now but I cant seem to sleep. Since it'll be quite difficult to put things into sentences let me random for once here.

So let the ball rolling...

I hate public declaration of love and lust. Eww..Please keep them private ya.
The older you get, the more insensible you are. Sheesh.
Leave the guy who put his dream before anything else including you. He's not worth the catch.
Being silly helps to calm nerves.
I am surprise by how well I get along with unexpected people.
Still unhappy about the two buggers.
Learn to listen ONLY to the good things. Your life will be blissful rest assured.
I like certain moments to be Private and Confidential. So stop asking.
Talking about feelings, you cant be very confident about it because you will never know what's in store for you.
Be careful what you wish for 'cos it can backfire. *winks*
The two years worth more than anything else in the WORLD.
Life is getting taxing at my end.

2007-11-04T15:26:00.000+08:00

Here's presenting to you..
The Honourable Justice Hoh Meow Meow at rest.

2007-10-30T21:08:00.000+08:00

I am getting my life back on track. So far I have seen progress.
My life is no longer mundane and there are constantly activities to occupy my day. I am glad I finally appear to be moving ahead and steering the right course.
Added responsibilities are on the way and I hope I can manage them well.

---------

My friends are doing well with their lifes. Shahdon is contented with his stay at the boundary of Brunei and Sarawak. Ashikin is clear of what she wants and I am happy for her. Nurul must be enjoying her foreign colleagues' company and still waiting for her french hottie to drop down from the sky. Marissa? Errm.. Tengok tepi saja lah ye. :)
For Nadira, no strings attached now. And CONGRATULATION ya for leaving the "hell". You should have do it earlier. I am still wondering why you stayed THAT long for. Haha.

---------

It's nearing end of the year and guess what ALOT of the people are getting engage or have been engaged or getting married. What's up with 2007? It is an auspicious year or something? Haha. If that makes them happy so be it. But I am just curious about it.

---------

I CANT WAIT FOR DECEMBER!!! For more than one reasons. :D

2007-10-28T20:50:00.000+08:00

This is the best song to describe the unsaid between us. :)

"The smile on your face

Lets me know

That you need me

There's a truth

In your eyes

Saying you'll never leave me

The touch of your hand says

You'll catch me

Whenever I fall

You say it best

When you say

Nothing at all"

Taken from When you say nothing at all by Ronan Keating