02 June 2009
24 May 2009
One ordeal has come to an end. Let's call it a break, shall we?
It was one of the toughest challenge I had to face so far.
It really opened up my eyes and my mind.
So the next time I shall pursue it from the beginning and put extra effort into it.
This long break need to be well planned and utilized as to avoid aimless digressions.
I want to do something fruitful apart from doing substantial amount of reading.
It has finally dawn on me that I have no passion for anything at the moment.
Nothing that I really would like to do at a regular basis. I cannot find my moxy. :(
Therefore, I will embark on a journey to find it. Not to be analytical about it. Just to clear my mind and settle on something. I should start doing some changes to my lifestyle. I don't want to be stuck in a routine all my life. Let see what I can come up with within these two months or so.
Till then..I shall bid my goodbye and leave you with a song I heart at the moment.
It was one of the toughest challenge I had to face so far.
It really opened up my eyes and my mind.
So the next time I shall pursue it from the beginning and put extra effort into it.
This long break need to be well planned and utilized as to avoid aimless digressions.
I want to do something fruitful apart from doing substantial amount of reading.
It has finally dawn on me that I have no passion for anything at the moment.
Nothing that I really would like to do at a regular basis. I cannot find my moxy. :(
Therefore, I will embark on a journey to find it. Not to be analytical about it. Just to clear my mind and settle on something. I should start doing some changes to my lifestyle. I don't want to be stuck in a routine all my life. Let see what I can come up with within these two months or so.
Till then..I shall bid my goodbye and leave you with a song I heart at the moment.
07 May 2009
28 April 2009
27 April 2009
Congratulation Marie! 3 years to go!
I know I am always lagging when it comes to updates and wishes but nonetheless I am trying to keep up with the time.
Biar muka meleket macam gula melaka atau berminyak seperti pantat kuali.
Hati tetap happy melihat kawanku sarung cincin di jari.
Sekali lagi, tahniah Marie!
Okay! Today was my first day back to school (again!). And oh well I was scolded by the librarian for eating nutrition bar! Totally "what-the-hell" moment but I actually put on my plastic face and apologized half-heartedly to the b*tch. Just me being me. Haha!
Despite starting the day on the bad note, I have never felt this rejuvenated for a very long time. I supposed it must be being away from the unhealthy aura.
I am loving my new lifestyle!!! With the exceptions of the slogging of course.
I know I am always lagging when it comes to updates and wishes but nonetheless I am trying to keep up with the time.
Biar muka meleket macam gula melaka atau berminyak seperti pantat kuali.
Hati tetap happy melihat kawanku sarung cincin di jari.
Sekali lagi, tahniah Marie!
Okay! Today was my first day back to school (again!). And oh well I was scolded by the librarian for eating nutrition bar! Totally "what-the-hell" moment but I actually put on my plastic face and apologized half-heartedly to the b*tch. Just me being me. Haha!
Despite starting the day on the bad note, I have never felt this rejuvenated for a very long time. I supposed it must be being away from the unhealthy aura.
I am loving my new lifestyle!!! With the exceptions of the slogging of course.
17 April 2009
Weight Loss program!!
Oh dear!! No one have ever like point it out straight to my face that I have gain ALOT of weight until two days ago. That was like a slap across the face to wake me up from falling deeper into the unhealthy weight zone.
On the day itself..I tell myself to be determined and shed off those extra kilos that I've gained over the 3 years of working. Yes, it's the work! All those sitting down in front of the computer is really unhealthy.
So..I have come up with the to do list to help lose approximately 3-4 kg plus a toned abdomen and here it goes...
-Climb up the stairs instead of using the elevator to get to the office/after lunch
-Drink plenty of water
-Push-ups & crunches alternate with aerobic exercises (on weekdays)
-Jogging every Sunday
-Reduce food intake during lunch (intending to eat bread)
I hope I can stay discipline with the routine 'cos I really want that toned up abdomen to fit into those body hugging tees..I hate those bulges!
I really, really want to stay on the healthy BMI. 22.6, here I come!!!
Oh dear!! No one have ever like point it out straight to my face that I have gain ALOT of weight until two days ago. That was like a slap across the face to wake me up from falling deeper into the unhealthy weight zone.
On the day itself..I tell myself to be determined and shed off those extra kilos that I've gained over the 3 years of working. Yes, it's the work! All those sitting down in front of the computer is really unhealthy.
So..I have come up with the to do list to help lose approximately 3-4 kg plus a toned abdomen and here it goes...
-Climb up the stairs instead of using the elevator to get to the office/after lunch
-Drink plenty of water
-Push-ups & crunches alternate with aerobic exercises (on weekdays)
-Jogging every Sunday
-Reduce food intake during lunch (intending to eat bread)
I hope I can stay discipline with the routine 'cos I really want that toned up abdomen to fit into those body hugging tees..I hate those bulges!
I really, really want to stay on the healthy BMI. 22.6, here I come!!!
11 April 2009
I hate to say this but I think I treat different people differently. Double standard! That's what it is. And the worse of it all, I just realized it! So much for the equality and all. I think it's hard to attain.
Just that everyone have a certain set of expectations labelled to their friends, family, relatives etc. It's like reflex action. You can't control it!
Those expectation gets higher when you are closer to particular people. If they somehow fail to meet up with the expectations, you tend to get disappointed. Well, it's normal I think. What is more important is how you deal with the disappointment. Often, I chose the wrong way to handle it. Thus, it leads to terrible heartache. I know I shouldn't have dealt with it the way I did but at the spur of the moment you just can't think rationally. Afterall, I am a woman. They happen to be well-known for being irrational! For goodness sake! It is not that bad, okay?!
I mean why blame on gender or race or background when you happen to act/say/behave in the wrong way? At the end of the day, it is not those factors that really matters! It's all about your decisions.
So what if I happen to decide things wrongly at times? So what if I make mistakes? Don't anyone else? So, can you please stop blaming it on my gender already?? So what if I cry like a baby when I am sad? I am human with emotions. That separate you and me! So get that straight into your brain!
Wokay, I sound schizophrenic and confusing here. That's fine I am having my moment.
One more thing, this entry is not meant for anyone in particular.
Just that everyone have a certain set of expectations labelled to their friends, family, relatives etc. It's like reflex action. You can't control it!
Those expectation gets higher when you are closer to particular people. If they somehow fail to meet up with the expectations, you tend to get disappointed. Well, it's normal I think. What is more important is how you deal with the disappointment. Often, I chose the wrong way to handle it. Thus, it leads to terrible heartache. I know I shouldn't have dealt with it the way I did but at the spur of the moment you just can't think rationally. Afterall, I am a woman. They happen to be well-known for being irrational! For goodness sake! It is not that bad, okay?!
I mean why blame on gender or race or background when you happen to act/say/behave in the wrong way? At the end of the day, it is not those factors that really matters! It's all about your decisions.
So what if I happen to decide things wrongly at times? So what if I make mistakes? Don't anyone else? So, can you please stop blaming it on my gender already?? So what if I cry like a baby when I am sad? I am human with emotions. That separate you and me! So get that straight into your brain!
Wokay, I sound schizophrenic and confusing here. That's fine I am having my moment.
One more thing, this entry is not meant for anyone in particular.
Public Holiday was not well-spent but I am happy anyway. It seems like ages ago that I attended any Yellow Chair Production (YCP) events or bumped into any of the members. Things seem to be progressing but not as how I thought it would be.
Earlier today I managed to catch one of their many productions i.e. Eight-in-a-box. Refreshing I must say. Nothing to over the top and what I love the most is the script! Nurul & Shahdon! If you are reading this, I am really looking forward to the July Production. Wow me with your crazy ideas you all. I am loving it so far! :)
I am actually inspired. Inspired to write. It is something random but I want to pursue it. It is like a new challenge altogether. I want to write in a totally different level and perspective but at the same time digestible. Hmm..
Well, I have come to hate this monotony in my life. I hate this routine. Call me a whiner or whatsoever but I am tired living like this. Maybe, I should start to find a hobby.
Life has it funny way of making 360 degrees' turn and flip everything around.
It is when the least you expect to end up where you think you wont be, it changed your mind. How amazing..
When the town is sleeping, here I am awake, entertaining my own thoughts..
I shall make my exit now and continue to drown myself in my own world.
I love Friday night like this. Serene and calm.
Earlier today I managed to catch one of their many productions i.e. Eight-in-a-box. Refreshing I must say. Nothing to over the top and what I love the most is the script! Nurul & Shahdon! If you are reading this, I am really looking forward to the July Production. Wow me with your crazy ideas you all. I am loving it so far! :)
I am actually inspired. Inspired to write. It is something random but I want to pursue it. It is like a new challenge altogether. I want to write in a totally different level and perspective but at the same time digestible. Hmm..
Well, I have come to hate this monotony in my life. I hate this routine. Call me a whiner or whatsoever but I am tired living like this. Maybe, I should start to find a hobby.
Life has it funny way of making 360 degrees' turn and flip everything around.
It is when the least you expect to end up where you think you wont be, it changed your mind. How amazing..
When the town is sleeping, here I am awake, entertaining my own thoughts..
I shall make my exit now and continue to drown myself in my own world.
I love Friday night like this. Serene and calm.
01 April 2009
It's April. It has been almost a month and I went on without any updates.
I have been stuck in a timeless routine. Work.Study.Sleep.Wake up.Work.Study!!
This maddening cycle is driving me crazy and leeching my energy off.
I am left with nothing but exhaustion.
Today, I decided to steal away time and put up an entry for my reference.
It is definitely not a fulfilling update but more like a brief review of the month.
Another month of preparation and I am really counting on every ounce of hope I can get hold of. The time is approaching and anxiety kicks in at its optimum ability.
All I can do right now is to stay calm and organise my schedule.
In addition, I need to be disciplined about it.
It's my one and only chance. I need to prove it's all worthwhile.
08 March 2009
Bruised and Battered.
Torn and Tattered.
But it still beats the same.
Your name.
Torn and Tattered.
But it still beats the same.
Your name.
That's the hardest part isn't?
How I wish it can be as easy as quiting the game.
The pain too much to bear.
I cant believe I hold on so long just to be able to feel happy.
I cant believe I sacrificed so much to hold your hands.
And the saddest part..
You wont understand.
You never will.
All these years, I am nothing but negative.
I disappoint time and again.
I am that burden you always deny.
The forbidden name in your house.
Yes, it's not easy being where I am.
I envy you because you wont be going through it.
The way I did.
Am I asking too much?
Too much than what you can give.
Am I hoping sky high?
Too high that you cant reach.
If that's the case, pardon me.
And you don't have to worry.
I have stop hoping for my very own happy ending.
Whatever happen, happens for a reason.
Thank you so much for that temporary bliss.
How I wish it can be as easy as quiting the game.
The pain too much to bear.
I cant believe I hold on so long just to be able to feel happy.
I cant believe I sacrificed so much to hold your hands.
And the saddest part..
You wont understand.
You never will.
All these years, I am nothing but negative.
I disappoint time and again.
I am that burden you always deny.
The forbidden name in your house.
Yes, it's not easy being where I am.
I envy you because you wont be going through it.
The way I did.
Am I asking too much?
Too much than what you can give.
Am I hoping sky high?
Too high that you cant reach.
If that's the case, pardon me.
And you don't have to worry.
I have stop hoping for my very own happy ending.
Whatever happen, happens for a reason.
Thank you so much for that temporary bliss.
20 February 2009
Rushed & Crushed
The days passed me without a second look.
Things have been happening at an ultra high speed that I can no longer stop and think.
There were times things got too much to handle that crying seems the best solution.
In just two weeks, it took away part of my youth.
Oh by the way, that rubber band was stretched to its maximum capacity and snapped.
No way for it to return to its original position. Period.
Let's just think happy thoughts for the time being now..
I went to watch Menopause the Musical.
It didn't meet my expectation. Perhaps I have too high of an expectation to begin with.
But it was enough to brighten my day and satisfy my theatre cravings.
He safely underwent that surgery and is recovering well. (or at least i hope he is)
I miss writing in Malay.But I don't know how to begin.
Expectation leads to disappointment.
The statement that holds so much truth.
Read it. Heard it.
But my brain cant seem to register it.
That explain the tears and heart aches.
I am in denial.Serious denial.
Why can't I quit hoping for a miracle?
Blooming petals.
Fantasy hardly becomes reality.
23.
It is just 22+1.
Ascending numbers which only stops once your time is up.
Importantly, the addition multiply happiness deduct sorrows.
1 year wiser (hopefully)
1 year worth of lessons learnt
1 year filled with mixed feelings
1 year living the dream
Thank you to those who have made being 23 awesome!
Especially..Ashikin, Nurul, Shahdon & Marrisa.
I am 2 weeks late. Sorry.
To him who never fail to surprise,
Thanks for the wonderful effort.
You made me smile. :)
She left for Australia.
Pursuing her dreams.
Bid the goodbyes on the 17th.
No one like to part.
Especially with someone whom they are fond of.
Nadira, the technology is so advance now.
We will definitely stay connected regardless of the distance.
My well wishes to you. *hugs*
Oh before she left we managed to camwhore @ Chinese Garden.
Of course the photographer of the day was Shahdon.
End result was not bad.
But the process was definitely fun and challenging at the same time!
Finals is in less than 3 months and I am not even half way there.
I should have foresee all these before enrolling.
The commitment level is definitely high!
My apologies for various appointments that was and is going to be cancalled in the process to upgrade myself. Sorry.
Internet connection at work has been limited to work-related.
That explains my absence or lack of participation in Facebook, Blogger and Messenger.
Please enlighten me on issue of pregnancy.
Does it reduces one responsibility to rock bottom?
Does it increases difficulty to remember things?
I need to know because it drives me crazy!! Argh!
(I am not the one suffering from the above by the way.)
Okay, I hope it is good enough of an update for the time being.
Goodnight!
The days passed me without a second look.
Things have been happening at an ultra high speed that I can no longer stop and think.
There were times things got too much to handle that crying seems the best solution.
In just two weeks, it took away part of my youth.
Oh by the way, that rubber band was stretched to its maximum capacity and snapped.
No way for it to return to its original position. Period.
Let's just think happy thoughts for the time being now..
I went to watch Menopause the Musical.
It didn't meet my expectation. Perhaps I have too high of an expectation to begin with.
But it was enough to brighten my day and satisfy my theatre cravings.
He safely underwent that surgery and is recovering well. (or at least i hope he is)
I miss writing in Malay.But I don't know how to begin.
Expectation leads to disappointment.
The statement that holds so much truth.
Read it. Heard it.
But my brain cant seem to register it.
That explain the tears and heart aches.
I am in denial.Serious denial.
Why can't I quit hoping for a miracle?
Blooming petals.
Fantasy hardly becomes reality.
23.
It is just 22+1.
Ascending numbers which only stops once your time is up.
Importantly, the addition multiply happiness deduct sorrows.
1 year wiser (hopefully)
1 year worth of lessons learnt
1 year filled with mixed feelings
1 year living the dream
Thank you to those who have made being 23 awesome!
Especially..Ashikin, Nurul, Shahdon & Marrisa.
I am 2 weeks late. Sorry.
To him who never fail to surprise,
Thanks for the wonderful effort.
You made me smile. :)
She left for Australia.
Pursuing her dreams.
Bid the goodbyes on the 17th.
No one like to part.
Especially with someone whom they are fond of.
Nadira, the technology is so advance now.
We will definitely stay connected regardless of the distance.
My well wishes to you. *hugs*
Oh before she left we managed to camwhore @ Chinese Garden.
Of course the photographer of the day was Shahdon.
End result was not bad.
But the process was definitely fun and challenging at the same time!
Finals is in less than 3 months and I am not even half way there.
I should have foresee all these before enrolling.
The commitment level is definitely high!
My apologies for various appointments that was and is going to be cancalled in the process to upgrade myself. Sorry.
Internet connection at work has been limited to work-related.
That explains my absence or lack of participation in Facebook, Blogger and Messenger.
Please enlighten me on issue of pregnancy.
Does it reduces one responsibility to rock bottom?
Does it increases difficulty to remember things?
I need to know because it drives me crazy!! Argh!
(I am not the one suffering from the above by the way.)
Okay, I hope it is good enough of an update for the time being.
Goodnight!
13 February 2009
18 January 2009
100 bucks on chemicals!!!
Yes. That's how much I spent.
But the experience is priceless.
Now at least i know how it felt like to sit for 4hrs in a salon!
I really warm up the seat.
The result: Extremely straight, silky and FLAT hair!! Now I know how Shikin felt the very 1st time she rebonded her hair. It's really like lidah anjing!!!
Enough about my tresses then. My very first theater experience for 2009 was great! It's been so long since I had a good experience with it. It's a brand new flavor. Unconventionally fantastic!
And of course, there were minor glitches here and there but Betrayed Babies left me inspired.
Brought him along to watch it to make up for the bad experiences. Thankfully, he loves it and don't mind to be theatrically-entertained in the future.
Next on the list will be Menopause the Musical and perhaps Past Caring by TNS.
Shall see how it goes and whether the finance department allows for it to happen.
Yes. That's how much I spent.
But the experience is priceless.
Now at least i know how it felt like to sit for 4hrs in a salon!
I really warm up the seat.
The result: Extremely straight, silky and FLAT hair!! Now I know how Shikin felt the very 1st time she rebonded her hair. It's really like lidah anjing!!!
Enough about my tresses then. My very first theater experience for 2009 was great! It's been so long since I had a good experience with it. It's a brand new flavor. Unconventionally fantastic!
And of course, there were minor glitches here and there but Betrayed Babies left me inspired.
Brought him along to watch it to make up for the bad experiences. Thankfully, he loves it and don't mind to be theatrically-entertained in the future.
Next on the list will be Menopause the Musical and perhaps Past Caring by TNS.
Shall see how it goes and whether the finance department allows for it to happen.
14 January 2009
53%
I am seeing light at the end of the pitch black tunnel!!
Eventhough that light isnt a floodlight and doesnt shine as bright but it's better than no light at all.
It was really funny how I was beaming and jumping with joy at the sight of the mark. I was not easily contented back then. Hmm..
Maybe I have learnt to be more realistic in life on top of the chaos i was in on the day i sat for the paper. It is justifiable but definitely can perform way better next time. I am so going to dedicate myself and enjoy later.
Ooh, my motivating factor for work is going to arrive in less than a week. The sole factor that anchor me to the ground now.
Whee!! The rain is falling real soon and the well will be filled to its brim.
*starts to do the rain dance*
CNY holiday is coming soon!! I am so looking forward to it. Away from office and the most annoying human I have ever met. Hmph!
Obviously, it is a reason to celebrate!!!!!
Haiyah..So crappy already lah eh! Better make a move now.
I am seeing light at the end of the pitch black tunnel!!
Eventhough that light isnt a floodlight and doesnt shine as bright but it's better than no light at all.
It was really funny how I was beaming and jumping with joy at the sight of the mark. I was not easily contented back then. Hmm..
Maybe I have learnt to be more realistic in life on top of the chaos i was in on the day i sat for the paper. It is justifiable but definitely can perform way better next time. I am so going to dedicate myself and enjoy later.
Ooh, my motivating factor for work is going to arrive in less than a week. The sole factor that anchor me to the ground now.
Whee!! The rain is falling real soon and the well will be filled to its brim.
*starts to do the rain dance*
CNY holiday is coming soon!! I am so looking forward to it. Away from office and the most annoying human I have ever met. Hmph!
Obviously, it is a reason to celebrate!!!!!
Haiyah..So crappy already lah eh! Better make a move now.
14 December 2008
13 December 2008
Flush!
Accumulated resentments, periodics tantrums and deeply buried disappointments.
Toxins that need to be flushed out of the system before 2009 begins or else it will be left
hazardous to the mind, body and soul.
Toxins that need to be flushed out of the system before 2009 begins or else it will be left
hazardous to the mind, body and soul.
As far as I can recall, I have been brooding on how boring my life has been, how unproductive
I've become and how slow I have been progressing.
Honestly, life has not been that bad afterall.
Life has not been stagnant. It keeps on propelling.
And as I am typing all these..it continues to move ahead.
Eversince I can remember, it has always been about the fury, the angst and the sadness of life
that has been successfully reflected.
I wonder where have all the joy went to? Have it evaporated into thin air? Or just that the
negative feelings outshine the positive ones?
Two years back. Without fail, I wish for the years to pass me by without a blink of the eye.
To hurry history. And never look back.
Now, I crave for it to slow down so that I can suck it all in.
The goodness of the unfortunate events.
The healing process of the wound.
The smell of the earth after rain.
The glow of the morning sky.
The adrenaline rush from that Sunday jog.
The smile on her face.
Siblings' laughters.
The warmth of his hugs.
I crave for the details because it will never be replayed again.
If it does, then it will just be of fond memories stored at the back of your mind together with
other rusty old memories.
-------------------------------------------
Something knock me hard on the head.
Telling me it's like a wild goose chase.
Trying to break my spirit.
Is that it?
I will not give up until I pour that last ounce of effort.
Only God knows what the future entails.
09 December 2008
08 December 2008
My Bedroom Day!
Time spent alone was never this great.
It's been quite awhile since I had time to spend on my own.
Today I did it.
It was a day well spent. Hey, when you enjoy wasting time..It is not time wasted.
The weather was perfect. The bed was extremely comfy. And the stomach was contented with all those delicious food filled to the brim.
There, you have it! My very own movie marathon.
Started off with Daddy day care. Followed by two Malay movies.. Nothing mind boggling. Just wanted to laugh my head off and I did! I watched "Apa Kata Hati?" and "I'm not Single".
Subsequently, I took a nap and woke up to watch "Date with Tad Hamilton".
So there you go..My break spent as simple as it can be and I am very very happy!
Okay, I am rambling nonsense and it's not intellectual at all but I don't care.
Bottomline is I am one happy lady today! :D
Time spent alone was never this great.
It's been quite awhile since I had time to spend on my own.
Today I did it.
It was a day well spent. Hey, when you enjoy wasting time..It is not time wasted.
The weather was perfect. The bed was extremely comfy. And the stomach was contented with all those delicious food filled to the brim.
There, you have it! My very own movie marathon.
Started off with Daddy day care. Followed by two Malay movies.. Nothing mind boggling. Just wanted to laugh my head off and I did! I watched "Apa Kata Hati?" and "I'm not Single".
Subsequently, I took a nap and woke up to watch "Date with Tad Hamilton".
So there you go..My break spent as simple as it can be and I am very very happy!
Okay, I am rambling nonsense and it's not intellectual at all but I don't care.
Bottomline is I am one happy lady today! :D
15 November 2008
Of withered roses and emotional hemorrhage
Some say love, it is a river
That drowns the tender reed
Some say love, it is a razor
That leaves your soul to bleed
Some say love, it is a hunger
An endless aching need
I say love, it is a flower
And you, its only seed
It's the heart, afraid of breaking
That never learns to dance
It's the dream, afraid of waking
That never takes the chance
It's the one who won't be taken
Who cannot seem to give
And the soul, afraid of dying
That never learns to live
When the night has been too lonely
And the road has been too long
And you think that love is only
for the lucky and the strong
Just remember in the winter
Far beneath the bitter snow
Lies the seed
That with the sun's love, in the spring
Becomes the rose
-------------------------------------
Yes, love in itself come in different forms and definitions..
I can never imagine life without love.
Bitter and dull.
Some say love, it is a river
That drowns the tender reed
Some say love, it is a razor
That leaves your soul to bleed
Some say love, it is a hunger
An endless aching need
I say love, it is a flower
And you, its only seed
It's the heart, afraid of breaking
That never learns to dance
It's the dream, afraid of waking
That never takes the chance
It's the one who won't be taken
Who cannot seem to give
And the soul, afraid of dying
That never learns to live
When the night has been too lonely
And the road has been too long
And you think that love is only
for the lucky and the strong
Just remember in the winter
Far beneath the bitter snow
Lies the seed
That with the sun's love, in the spring
Becomes the rose
-------------------------------------
Yes, love in itself come in different forms and definitions..
I can never imagine life without love.
Bitter and dull.
06 November 2008
The Whirs and the Purrs
Have I grown up too fast for my own good?
Should I have taken a few steps back and slow down to catch my breath?
It is as though my mind has been contaminated with too many facts of life.
My heart has been beating unnaturally fast and I can feel my blood gushing to my brain.
I have no idea why I’m feeling so charged up these days.
Should I blame it on that book I am currently reading? Its content perhaps?
Err..I had actually rushed down to the library to get my hands on the book. I made the trip solely for that!
I can’t believe I actually went to that extent.
Maybe I should start practicing abstinence and resistance. *sigh*
*side-track* A new author have been added to my list of favorite writers. I am too drawn by
his subtlety and artful descriptions of the most controversial issue. Despite that subtleness of
his words, he manages to sketch vivid images in one’s mind. For that, it ignites a sense
within me that I have never felt before. Perhaps that’s the feeling one felt after a good sex?
Or to put it in a more decent way, a feeling one get maybe after a full body SPA treatment
(massage included)? I think you get what I mean. That “feel good” feeling. Satisfaction! Ah!!
That’s the word that fits this situation.
It seems my side-track is way off.
Finally! I received that long-awaited Parcel from London. What makes them take so long to
deliver it? Should have used DHL or Fed-Ex lah! Anyway, no more complaints or to be precise
no more excuses for not able to study since resources are a few steps away. Honestly, maybe
it’s a good thing the books arrive now rather than the past few months. At least, the arrival
of the books is a form of motivation for me to do revision. Those new texts are very
inviting. Welcome me to read it and gain knowledge from it. Aaah..
Sometimes, I wish not to rekindle certain ties that was once broken. Not because of any form
of arguments but more to poor reception. I wish to maintain it that way because certain
friendships are too bitter to swallow. At some point, those friendships are meaningless and
sadly, full of pretence. Maybe it is meant not to be. I’m sorry. Door is close for you. Now, it is
by invitation only.
Everyone wish to live their life in denials. I am not to be excluded. I hate to admit that I
have at several occasions told tales about my life. The life I wish I can be in. The harsh reality
that all those are not true hit me real hard. No doubt that cut through my heart is slowly
healing but it will still leave an ugly scar. That will never go away. It will still live on like a
terrible nightmare. *sigh*
Recently, I have been questioning myself. Will I still survive the Theatre Circle if I am thrown
into it? Will I be acting more like a clown trying to fit into the cast of “Phantom of the
Opera”?
Have I grown up too fast for my own good?
Should I have taken a few steps back and slow down to catch my breath?
It is as though my mind has been contaminated with too many facts of life.
My heart has been beating unnaturally fast and I can feel my blood gushing to my brain.
I have no idea why I’m feeling so charged up these days.
Should I blame it on that book I am currently reading? Its content perhaps?
Err..I had actually rushed down to the library to get my hands on the book. I made the trip solely for that!
I can’t believe I actually went to that extent.
Maybe I should start practicing abstinence and resistance. *sigh*
*side-track* A new author have been added to my list of favorite writers. I am too drawn by
his subtlety and artful descriptions of the most controversial issue. Despite that subtleness of
his words, he manages to sketch vivid images in one’s mind. For that, it ignites a sense
within me that I have never felt before. Perhaps that’s the feeling one felt after a good sex?
Or to put it in a more decent way, a feeling one get maybe after a full body SPA treatment
(massage included)? I think you get what I mean. That “feel good” feeling. Satisfaction! Ah!!
That’s the word that fits this situation.
It seems my side-track is way off.
Finally! I received that long-awaited Parcel from London. What makes them take so long to
deliver it? Should have used DHL or Fed-Ex lah! Anyway, no more complaints or to be precise
no more excuses for not able to study since resources are a few steps away. Honestly, maybe
it’s a good thing the books arrive now rather than the past few months. At least, the arrival
of the books is a form of motivation for me to do revision. Those new texts are very
inviting. Welcome me to read it and gain knowledge from it. Aaah..
Sometimes, I wish not to rekindle certain ties that was once broken. Not because of any form
of arguments but more to poor reception. I wish to maintain it that way because certain
friendships are too bitter to swallow. At some point, those friendships are meaningless and
sadly, full of pretence. Maybe it is meant not to be. I’m sorry. Door is close for you. Now, it is
by invitation only.
Everyone wish to live their life in denials. I am not to be excluded. I hate to admit that I
have at several occasions told tales about my life. The life I wish I can be in. The harsh reality
that all those are not true hit me real hard. No doubt that cut through my heart is slowly
healing but it will still leave an ugly scar. That will never go away. It will still live on like a
terrible nightmare. *sigh*
Recently, I have been questioning myself. Will I still survive the Theatre Circle if I am thrown
into it? Will I be acting more like a clown trying to fit into the cast of “Phantom of the
Opera”?
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