20 October 2006

I feel so irritated and agitated at almost ANYTHING and EVERYTHING.
Gosh I need a break. From all these. I am sick and tired of going through it every single day. I thought after yesterday I will feel better today. BUT i am so wrong.

I am so so so drained. Emotionally.
I want to give up but I want to stay on.
I want to quit but my heart says otherwise.
I hate feeling like this. I hate being stuck in between.

I am sorry I dont seem as strong as you thought i will be.
I am sorry if i dont understand.
I am sorry i cant be the person you want me to be.
I am sorry for being so difficult.
I am sorry for being such a pain.
I am sorry if i sound hurtful.

The feeling deep down just seem to ache very badly.
It resurfaces even more these days.
It hurt so much i often feel so numb.
It make me wanna breakdown and cry but there's no more tears.

Will things end up my way? Like how i envision it?
I HATE YOU for making me like this.
I HATE YOU. can you just vanish into thin air so that i need not have to face you every single day in that kind of condition? condition which only makes my blood boils even more with hatred. the condition that is so painful to watch.

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