13 December 2008



Accumulated resentments, periodics tantrums and deeply buried disappointments.

Toxins that need to be flushed out of the system before 2009 begins or else it will be left

hazardous to the mind, body and soul.

As far as I can recall, I have been brooding on how boring my life has been, how unproductive

I've become and how slow I have been progressing.

Honestly, life has not been that bad afterall.

Life has not been stagnant. It keeps on propelling.

And as I am typing all these..it continues to move ahead.

Eversince I can remember, it has always been about the fury, the angst and the sadness of life

that has been successfully reflected.

I wonder where have all the joy went to? Have it evaporated into thin air? Or just that the

negative feelings outshine the positive ones?

Two years back. Without fail, I wish for the years to pass me by without a blink of the eye.

To hurry history. And never look back.

Now, I crave for it to slow down so that I can suck it all in.

The goodness of the unfortunate events.
The healing process of the wound.
The smell of the earth after rain.
The glow of the morning sky.
The adrenaline rush from that Sunday jog.
The smile on her face.
Siblings' laughters.
The warmth of his hugs.

I crave for the details because it will never be replayed again.

If it does, then it will just be of fond memories stored at the back of your mind together with

other rusty old memories.


Something knock me hard on the head.

Telling me it's like a wild goose chase.

Trying to break my spirit.

Is that it?

I will not give up until I pour that last ounce of effort.

Only God knows what the future entails.

09 December 2008

The well run dry
Waiting anxiously for the rain
It wont arrive soon. Not yet.
It is not the time of the month.
Shit. This cannot go on.
Or I will die out of thirst.
Wishing for a miracle..
I hate being broke in DECEMBER.
First week to be precised. Boohoo!!
Going on a ration now!

08 December 2008

My Bedroom Day!

Time spent alone was never this great.
It's been quite awhile since I had time to spend on my own.
Today I did it.
It was a day well spent. Hey, when you enjoy wasting time..It is not time wasted.
The weather was perfect. The bed was extremely comfy. And the stomach was contented with all those delicious food filled to the brim.
There, you have it! My very own movie marathon.

Started off with Daddy day care. Followed by two Malay movies.. Nothing mind boggling. Just wanted to laugh my head off and I did! I watched "Apa Kata Hati?" and "I'm not Single".
Subsequently, I took a nap and woke up to watch "Date with Tad Hamilton".

So there you go..My break spent as simple as it can be and I am very very happy!
Okay, I am rambling nonsense and it's not intellectual at all but I don't care.
Bottomline is I am one happy lady today! :D

15 November 2008

Of withered roses and emotional hemorrhage

Some say love, it is a river
That drowns the tender reed
Some say love, it is a razor
That leaves your soul to bleed
Some say love, it is a hunger
An endless aching need
I say love, it is a flower
And you, its only seed

It's the heart, afraid of breaking
That never learns to dance
It's the dream, afraid of waking
That never takes the chance
It's the one who won't be taken
Who cannot seem to give
And the soul, afraid of dying
That never learns to live

When the night has been too lonely
And the road has been too long
And you think that love is only
for the lucky and the strong
Just remember in the winter
Far beneath the bitter snow
Lies the seed
That with the sun's love, in the spring
Becomes the rose


Yes, love in itself come in different forms and definitions..

I can never imagine life without love.

Bitter and dull.

06 November 2008

The Whirs and the Purrs

Have I grown up too fast for my own good?

Should I have taken a few steps back and slow down to catch my breath?

It is as though my mind has been contaminated with too many facts of life.

My heart has been beating unnaturally fast and I can feel my blood gushing to my brain.

I have no idea why I’m feeling so charged up these days.

Should I blame it on that book I am currently reading? Its content perhaps?

Err..I had actually rushed down to the library to get my hands on the book. I made the trip solely for that!

I can’t believe I actually went to that extent.

Maybe I should start practicing abstinence and resistance. *sigh*

*side-track* A new author have been added to my list of favorite writers. I am too drawn by

his subtlety and artful descriptions of the most controversial issue. Despite that subtleness of

his words, he manages to sketch vivid images in one’s mind. For that, it ignites a sense

within me that I have never felt before. Perhaps that’s the feeling one felt after a good sex?

Or to put it in a more decent way, a feeling one get maybe after a full body SPA treatment

(massage included)? I think you get what I mean. That “feel good” feeling. Satisfaction! Ah!!

That’s the word that fits this situation.

It seems my side-track is way off.

Finally! I received that long-awaited Parcel from London. What makes them take so long to

deliver it? Should have used DHL or Fed-Ex lah! Anyway, no more complaints or to be precise

no more excuses for not able to study since resources are a few steps away. Honestly, maybe

it’s a good thing the books arrive now rather than the past few months. At least, the arrival

of the books is a form of motivation for me to do revision. Those new texts are very

inviting. Welcome me to read it and gain knowledge from it. Aaah..

Sometimes, I wish not to rekindle certain ties that was once broken. Not because of any form

of arguments but more to poor reception. I wish to maintain it that way because certain

friendships are too bitter to swallow. At some point, those friendships are meaningless and

sadly, full of pretence. Maybe it is meant not to be. I’m sorry. Door is close for you. Now, it is
by invitation only.

Everyone wish to live their life in denials. I am not to be excluded. I hate to admit that I

have at several occasions told tales about my life. The life I wish I can be in. The harsh reality
that all those are not true hit me real hard. No doubt that cut through my heart is slowly

healing but it will still leave an ugly scar. That will never go away. It will still live on like a

terrible nightmare. *sigh*

Recently, I have been questioning myself. Will I still survive the Theatre Circle if I am thrown

into it? Will I be acting more like a clown trying to fit into the cast of “Phantom of the


23 October 2008

Time check: 9:54a.m.

I am supposed to be busy drafting letters, completing Affidavits and other related tasks rather

than updating my blog at this hour.

But I insist on procrastinating and here I am drafting my entry instead.

I am still surviving to date since nothing much in my schedule right now.

It’s term break yet again. Only need to attend POA classes on Wednesday and Friday.

So 3 days of freedom(weekends not included).

The pressure of working and studying at once really is getting to me now.

I am afraid I might screw up all the four subjects and end up repeating the entire modules again!

Disappointment. How can it remain hidden for long?

I never expect that from her.

Apart from that notorious nature, I know deep down she is much more intelligent that she

appears to be.

I thought she can make a rational decision but she proves me wrong.

Her intelligence merely reflected in the record book but do not extend beyond that.

And not all can be blame on her parents. If you decide to stay firm, you won’t end up where you are not.

In the middle of nowhere. Your future; unpredictable.

I’ve tried to do some damage control but it seems beyond repair.

I failed to salvage her from sinking deeper.

To whom it may concern, I really hope it is not too late to change your decision.

I pray that you will finally realize what you have done to your life.

It is too precious to go wasted and especially not in this very manner.

I really don’t know whether you will be reading this but I hope you do.

And if you do, I hope you know it’s meant for you..

Currently, there is only one song I am listening to and it gets very addictive.

All because of Nad’s entry she posted a week back.

Beyonce: Flaws and all is set on loop.

Wonder why the lyrics seem so closer to the heart than any other.

How the words hold so much truth it made me all teary-eyed.

21 October 2008

Actually I don’t know why I even bother to explain myself on this one.

If I am deem as a bad person in your eyes so be it lor. I can live with that anyway.

Firstly, there was no binding agreement or even a promise that I would attend it. So yah!

I was merely requesting for information which was answered by you. Thanks for that by the way!

I made a passing statement to follow on certain conditions which was not fulfilled.

Lastly, I don’t think my PRESENCE made so much of a difference.

Bottomline is…It wasn’t at the 11th hour.

Thus, I am not guilty. :D

I have concluded that this year Raya outing is meant to be up, close and personal.

For the 2 consecutives weekends, I had memorable visits to various houses.
The most recent would have to be with Nadilton! Had so much fun and slept over her place for the night. It would have been better w/o (fill in the blank). I am not sure if I can still do that this Friday. Hmm..We’ll see how things turn out then.

Pictures will be compiled and uploaded in due course.

In need for a retail therapy but cash flow is very restricted in the meantime. *sigh*


You are such a nag but I love you anyway..

12 October 2008


What are you waiting for?
Nobody's gonna show you how
Why work for someone else
To do what you can do right now

Got no boundaries and no limits
If there's excitement, put me in it
If it's against the law, arrest me
If you can handle it, undress me

Don't stop me now, don't need to catch my breath
I can go on and on and on
When lights go down and there's no one left
I can go on and on and on

Give it 2 me, yeah
No one's gonna show me how
Give it 2 me, yeah
No one's gonna stop me now

They say that a good thing never lasts
And then it has to fall
Those are the the people that did not
Amount to much at all

Give me the bassline and I'll shake it
Give me a record and I'll break it
There's no beginning and no ending
Give me a chance to go and I'll take it

Don't stop me now, don't need to catch my breath
I can go on and on and on
When lights go down and there's no one left
I can go on and on and on

Give it 2 me, yeah
No one's gonna show me how
Give it 2 me, yeah
No one's gonna stop me now

[Pharrell:] Watch this!

Get stupid, get stupid, get stupid, don't stop it (What?)
Get stupid, get stupid, get stupid, don't stop it (What?)
Get stupid, get stupid, get stupid, don't stop it (What?)
Get stupid, get stupid, get stupid, don't stop it

Get stupid, get stupid, get stupid, don't stop it
(To the left, to the right, to the left, to the right)
Get stupid, get stupid, get stupid, don't stop it
(To the left, to the right, to the left, to the right)

Get stupid, get stupid, get stupid, don't stop it
(To the left, left, right, right, left, left, right, right)
Get stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid...
(Left, left, right, right, left, left, right, right)

Don't stop me now, don't need to catch my breath
I can go on and on and on
When lights go down and there's no one left
I can go on and on and on

Give it 2 me, yeah
No one's gonna show me how
Give it 2 me, yeah
No one's gonna stop me now

You're only here to win
Get what they say?
You're only here to win
Get what they do?
They'd do it too
If they were you
You done it all before
It ain't nothing new

You're only here to win
Get what they say?
You're only here to win
Get what they do?
They'd do it too
If they were you
You done it all before
It ain't nothing new

Give it 2 me, yeah
No one's gonna show me how
Give it 2 me, yeah
No one's gonna stop me now

Give it 2 me, yeah
No one's gonna show me how
Give it 2 me, yeah
No one's gonna stop me now

Give it 2 me

01 October 2008

Loads to be updated but there isnt ample time to do so.
Since it's the 1st day of Aidil Fitri and we normally dont do much visitings..
So here I am making use of the available opportunity to do some blogging.

Ramadhan have been smooth-sailing but extremely challenging for me.
My entire 1 month seems like some episode from Amazing Race!
I'm really racing for time and all.
On top of fasting, there's a need to juggle between school and work.
Eversince the second semester started, there's an extra class every Thursday apart from the Monday, Wednesday and Friday classes.
It's such a horrible schedule and I have to endure it till May/June next year!!

Okay, cut that story short and fast-forward to the last week of Ramadhan.
It was such a surprise to have so many things happening then.
Our very own version of Iftar with dearest Nurul and Ashikin on Saturday.
It was definitely enjoyable reminiscing the past and gossiping the present. : P

Sunday, last minute shopping at Geylang Bazaar. OMG! I hate the crowd! But ironically, the "feel" wasnt there despite the crowd.
Hmmm...So finally found what I wanted and rushed back home.

Well.. I took a whole week leave this week and it started from Monday.
Monday went by like a flash. It felt a lil wasted though.
Tuesday woke up to collect the nutella rolls from NAD!
We met at Raffles Place and my oh my! That place is really foreign to me.
I was really clueless of the surroundings. So memalukan!!

Whenever I met her, I will never end up home early! Haha! The actual plan was to meet her and went home thereafter.
BUT!! No..We ended up at Orchard because I was in search for my earrings at Forever 21. BUT again we disgressed.
Ended up buying unrelated stuffs from Cotton On.
Nad decided to play the aunty role as she wanted to buy bedsheets!! OooKay..
Guess where we ended up next??
LITTLE INDIA! The accessories heaven! Ahhhh!!
I tell you Little India is much more happening than Geylang lah! Wth rite?
Dont know whether we are celebrating Hari Raya or Deepavali ah!
That's where I finally bought my earrings! Hooray!! :D

As soon as I reached home, rolled up the sleeves and started to work.
By then it was nearly 6pm! Wth rite? And to think I went out from the house at 12pm and told my mom that I'll be back soon.
So much for my soon.
After breakfast, again I started to work. This time to buy syrup and flowers.
Hey hey kawan2!! This year no Bandung Panas ya! Change in flavor.
We are going blues this year with Blueberry ya.

1st October 2008: Aidil Fitri


I am one happy lady this year. This year feels so complete and harmonious.
There's a change in the wind direction.
Positively of course. I can never wish for anything better than this.
The day full of laughter and joy. I am so contented. Eventhough it was just for that few hours.
It's enough to make me smile the entire day.
Like every Hari Raya, I have always look forward to 3 things.
Firstly, of course..Dressing up! If not for Raya, when will I be able to put on my extra bright eye shadow, thick mascara, dark eyeliners and my Kebaya?
Food glorious food! The next on my list.
And not to forget my family classic moment.."Beraya" or what we know as seeking for forgiveness. I love to capture the moment on video. But what's the best
is the words of wisdom from my dad. Haha!

The first day is almost ending and well let's look at the moment capture on camera.






17 September 2008

My daily mantra: Love wins. Love always wins.

I am not talking only love between you and your partner. It extends to the love for other mankind. Start by loving yourself. Embrace your flaws and weaknesses. Flaunt your strengths.

Love your parents, friends and colleagues even.

Learn to forgive yourself. Forgive others.

When you start giving your love to others, you will always be remembered. Even death can’t take that away.

We are often in constant denial when it comes to physical intimacy. We claim we want our personal space. But deep down we yearn for human contact. A friendly hug. A kiss on the cheeks.

Truth is…. we can’t get enough of it.

"The bravest are the tenderest. The loving are the daring"
-Henry Wadsworth Longfellow-


05 September 2008

Music is universal.
There is different type of songs for different occasions.

For example:

In a club, boy meet girl..
You get
Nelly Furtado ft. Timbaland - Promiscuous

And when things get groovy..
Angela Via - Baila Baila

Within the 6 months of the relationship..
Dangerously In Love - Beyonce Knowles

Still in love but a quarrel occurs..
Beyonce - wishing on a star

After the end of the "honeymoon period" things turn sour.
GF trying to act cool after the breakup.
Miley Cyrus - 7 Things

Or the desperate GF begging for him to return..
The Garden- Mirah

This is totally random! :D
And guess what?! I am not done with any of my assignments except for Accounts and yet I still waste time on unnecessary activities.

22 August 2008


The sky is gloomy again. Just like my thoughts nowadays. I have been trying to convince myself. La Tahzan. But my heart not willing to listen to my brain. Most likely they are not in good terms. There need to be some sort of co-ordination here. But resistance seems to be the issue.

It scares me most of the time. Again my problem. I have become accustom to being around him and relying so much on him when times are bad. I am worried if things don’t turn out right. How am I going to face it? The end result will be either to make it or to break it.

Like the law of nature, after the rain there will definitely be sunshine. And on better days, rainbows might appear. The flowers blooming and the birds chirping merrily. That is what I am waiting for.

He said I always expect the best. Who wouldn’t? If not, I won’t be considered human right? Yes I know because of such expectation it leads to destruction. But due to the same expectation, it brings me to where I am now. Being able to propel forward and sometimes exceed my own expectations.

And what those lectures taught me: To look at both sides of the coin. And choose a stand. Thus, I am choosing to stay with my beliefs.

After what I have went through and after alterations to my lifestyle, I am still firm with this one.

Some things just don’t and won’t change. :)

21 August 2008

It's great being blonde - with such low expectations it's easy to impress.


I think we have grown apart. All of us. We have other commitments that need more attention. I have grown out of the fact we aint like how we used to be. That's okay. I am accepting the fact the distance will be hard to bridge in times to come. I am not trying to say I dont care or that I cant be bothered about us. I still do care. I still try as much to narrow the gap. I must admit. I miss us.

I miss alot of people and I cant do much. At the end of the day, it's the choice you make in life that determines your destiny.

It's a hell of a rollercoaster ride all year round. At least I felt like on top of the world for the past half a year. So far so good. Of course with some bitter moments. Apart from that life been on my side.

I have never been so close to someone in my entire life and some part of me..honestly not even my family is aware of it. It scares me that I have become an open book to him. The fear.

13 August 2008

Geram nak mampos sey ngan cleaner office.

Kerje tak seberapa, complain je lebih.. Eh bodoh betol ah! Kalau tak nak kerja cakap je ah.

Tak payah nak attitude kat sini. Dah lah bau tenggik, bergayut kat telephone 24 jam.

Dia ingat nie apa? Fun fair ke?

Kalau dah malas nak kerje tak payah nak order2 orang around. Aku boleh buat ah!

Pay bawak mari ah. Kasi aku. Duit nak, kerja half past six. Memang nak kena smack!

Eeeee..Macam nak cekik2!

12 August 2008

Being Cheeky!!


Am I really growing up way too slow here?

Only now that I begin to embrace that cheekiness in me and actually not feeling awkward about it!

Oh by the way..Confidence can be really sexy..

Happy Belated National Day!!
to my dearest Singapore and my apologies if I forget how old you are.
It seems that I have lost track of time.I am feeling the pressure of juggling so many things at one time. There are so many things to accomplish with inadequate time..
I want to meet up with the friends..So many of them have yet to be met for a very long time! That includes Ashikin, Nurul and Shahdon..
I need to complete my tutorials which are long overdue..
I need to collect my raya clothes!
And I really need time to exercise!!
Hmmm..There seems to be lots of reading to be done too!
Have I mentioned how terribly I miss camwhoring? I want to have more pics taken!
And how bad I want to shop but I cant because believe it or not I am nearly broke!!
Such sacrifices to make at this age...Sigh!
Lastly, I want a hair make-over!

31 July 2008

My dearest colleagues never fail to surprise me with their antics. Mind you it can be reallyfatal to the mind, body and soul. I am totally blown away by how childish, annoying, weird,selfish and unprofessional these people who fall under the category; Mature Adults canbe. It even surprises me being the youngest and yet cause the least problems in the office. I am the most tolerant one in the bunch. I am the most mature one around.

How and why can that possibly happens? Hahaha!Hey! That's because they are only deemed mature by the increasing numbers to their age. They dont have what we known as COMMON SENSE!

I am currently wishing that I wont grow old in that way. Senseless with stinking attitude.
These people have failed to grasp the concept of empathy and inculcate dirty habit known as"blood suckers".

In primary school, we were taught Moral Education and how being courteous was given so muchimportance.Looks like they must have failed it badly. Or even if they passed it must be dueto the regurgitation method.

Life has been pretty good to me. Despite minor glitches, it actually progress on smoothly.In the meantime, I am very pleased and contented with what I have in Life. I'll be too greedy to ask for more.

Smile..Be positive. Like many have spoken or told: Life's too Short! And I cannot disagree to that.
To whom it may concern,

I am glad that you willingly take the plunge with me into the deep sea without any life jackets to keep us afloat.We have swam a thousand miles (okay I'm exagerrating!) and conquered our fears. We are still surviving and have yet to drown to the seabed. We are still alive and kicking!

Never once have I regretted my decision which was based on something else altogether. :) In fact, I am very grateful that I took that first step. Nevermind the fact that's totally off from my league. i am still glad that first step initiated blooms into an ardently-inscribed story. Our story.

It seems like a very long time since I put up an entry dedicated to you. Now, taking a teeny bit of my time to do this just makes me feel good. At least I know I still have a heart that beats not just for work! It can feel and potray emotions too..

Thank you for being by my side and hold my hand.

Yours truly..

School have never felt so tiring before. I hope I can cope with the additional bulk on my shoulder. I hope I wont collapse. I am hoping for the best and all these are for my future.

20 July 2008

Photobucket Did you play your cards right?

The late Heath Ledger who once starred Broke Back Mountain nailed a character such as the Joker so well it sent chills down my spine. That performance deserves standing ovation. Seriously.

I am not of any way a fan of Batman movies eventhough I watched them all. However, I have to say Dark Knight did not disappoint tonight. It cant be better written than what it is.

Dissecting the story into parts, it shows the chain reaction of your choice..

By a flip of coin, everything changes..
By that flip of coin, it destroys..

Hey, this leads me on to this..
No choice is a choice of its own

17 July 2008

This is no fun. Staying in a room isolated from everyone else. It feels like I am being quarantined due to some contagious illness. I am feeling bored here. I can’t deny the fact that I am more productive since there’s lesser distraction BUT I definitely cannot survive being alone in this room. Hate the emptiness and loneliness. ARGH!!!! Please rescue me from this ordeal. As of today, it has been close to 3 weeks I habituate this place.

Now, I am wishing for the renovation to end as soon as possible so as to unleash myself from this torture chamber!! Well..well..It sounds like some theatrical performance going on here. Hey, I am capable of making things look dramatic. I’m the queen of exaggeration.

I think I have shed all my bitchiness away for the time being. It has gone away with the less frequent drama performance. Negligible in fact. SIGH!!

Have I actually make a mess out of my life? Mockery? Hmmmm..I am clueless.
I cant seem to come to a conclusion. My work? Has been depressing. My morale is very very low. I keep believing I am not cut for this firm and the job it offers. *CRIES*

This entry is extremely random.

Point to take note: Date with Mr. Dark knight on Saturday! Whee!!

14 July 2008


In the "block" state. Be it mentally as well as physically. My right ear suffers from some blockage. It's a very uncomfortable. By the way, I cant find any issues to bring to the table now. All I can say is..I am being occupied most of the time and for some weird reasons..I am not tired.

Seemingly I am out of blogging ideas..Hope to continue soon.

04 July 2008

Anyone who has yet to watch Angelina Jolie in action in her new movie WANTED might want to catch it this weekend. I shall not proceed to comment about the movie as my comments won’t do much justice to this great movie.

Yet another overdue entry from me. School starts OFFICIALLY on 30th June 2008 and my level of frustration is beyond words. The Administrative Department is in total mess and they are extremely annoying. Should have take the hints and heed the advices. My mistake for poor judgment and I cant back out now. I shall take this like a hit and run case.

On the brighter note, the law lectures seem pretty smooth sailing and impressive. To top it all, I will be graduating under UOL like any other. Need to work EXTRA hard. Especially in terms of obtaining relevant resources.

Hey Hey! I am a more positive person now. Shikin..I am not so negative afterall okay. Haha!
As mentioned in my earlier entry, I love the current materials I am reading. It’s like soul cleansing session.

Talking about cleansing..I want to have my Spa indulgence soon. Before the fasting month. I hope the plan goes on well and we shall head for our getaway session in August. I really REALLY need it badly!!

I have been trying to crack my brain to find places which I can visit during the weekend. Singapore is getting very very crowded I tell you! Well..well.. I have found a few good places to visit. You will be surprise what you can find in “Ulu pandan” places such as Toa Payoh, Sengkang and Hougang! HAHAHAHA!! I’m lovin’ it!

It’s 5:44pm!! Whee! TGIF!!! Hurrah!! Packing up now. Office under renovation and I am under isolation period. Feeling lonely in a room all to myself!!!! Or at least can increase productivity..(Ya right!) hmmmm…

22 June 2008

My randomness strikes back..

Dear Miss,
Don't be too driven by emotions because it is not worth it.
Don't dwell on what have happened because the present is what matters.
God is never cruel.
If sadness enter your life now, happiness definitely will come knocking your door.
If it is meant to be, it will.
You cant run away from fate.
Stay strong..
Halimah :)
Recently, I have been doing much of reading and you will never guess what I read. I borrowed books which sadly to say I have neglected before. It calms my nerves and allows my mind to be at peace. In any way, I have been trying to revamp my life. It is definitely not easy. It's like Jihad.

I am being less and less productive nowadays. It frustrates me so much that I cant get many things done like how I used.

It's my first love and I wish it to be my last..


You warm my heart..

08 June 2008

I have not been very diligent at studies for sure. TWO assignments! I still cant complete both. Plus no Tutoring today supposedly to make things easier. Unfortunately it didnt because I failed to utilise that precious time. Instead I start browsing friendster and typing this entry.
Delay is not only for the assignments but other activities as well i.e.

- To watch Samurai X series (I'm still stuck at Disc 2 out of 12!!)
- To finish reading up the library books
- To finish reading the Crim Law guide[Chap: Defence]
- To fold piles of clothes and chuck inside the wardrobe
- To visit the optometrist: my eyesight is failing me :(
- To call up AVIVA: taking too long to reply my letter. Sigh.

I shall not continue with the list or I'll get a fright myself.
In a few minutes, I am heading to a Wedding invitation @ Tampines. And ya! I still have yet to find the colour!!

I need to start the list soon or perhaps now!! Bye.

07 June 2008

It was so clear from the very beginning.
He have one thing in his mind. Fear.
It is undeniably that the only solution he ever thought of. Separation.
Disappointment cant be any obvious than this.
The way she gathers courage and stay strong. Heart-wrenching.
Pretense. Such an act to hide vulnerability.


The same topic keep dwelling in the household. I dont even know how to approach it. The talks make me really angry at times.
How she behaves recently. It is perfectly fine to be in a relationship BUT to neglect everything else is not so wise. Anyway, she is not mature enough for this and I fear it more when she is with him. He is not someone I fancy to be with her. He is too questionable to deserve my approval. It is really a challenge to approach this because I dont want to appear busybody.

If the parent dont want to take the active role in discipling, who else will?
External parties can only advise but nothing much to it. She being that defiant makes me want to give her a tight slap. I dont want someone I know too well to be a victim to temptation. That will be the last thing I want.
I wonder how much damage is done.
I wonder how corrupted it has been.
Parenting is not easy. One need to be diplomatic especially when it comes to such matter.
And importantly, proper education needs to be inculcated since young. The naive days.
Like a malay saying:"Melentur buluh biar dari rebungnya"
Translated version: "Taming the bamboo starts when it's a shoot"


After a hectic week at work, it reaches the abyssal period.


With reference to the tagboard, I am excited about 2008 Baju Raya. I need to go hunting of it soon. Still undecided: the colours, ready-made or tailor-made? Hmmm....

26 May 2008

Feeling so uninspired to attempt my project. Instead I waste the time on browsing the friendster. Sigh. In need to come out with something fruitful/substantial for tomorrow's meeting. It is ONLY Monday, the time is ticking by painfully slow and I am already running out of energy. Shag. Received a message early this morning. Thought of THAT opportunity. But decided to throw it down the drain. Past. What's on my mind. Opened an email @ work. Him. He was kind enough to do up my monthly budget. The result: Impressive. Now, I am left with approximately less than an hour to read, digest & type. Fade.

25 May 2008


I've gotten my invitation card!!! Thanks to Mr. Double E. HAHA!
I have no idea why am I looking forward to it.
I am always excited about my friend's wedding since I have missed one last year.
I hope i dont miss this one. It is not because that I am excited to watch the bride and groom on the dais but the fact that I am going to meet the old friends. That's going to be very interesting!
Somewhat like an awkward reunion perhaps? haha.
Ashikin, hope you don't have anything on that day and you are up to this challenging errmmm..challenge? Hehe.

21 May 2008


When I was young, I fell in love
I asked my sweetheart what lies ahead
Will we have rainbows, day after day
Here's what my sweetheart said.

Que Sera, Sera,
Whatever will be, will be
The future's not ours, to see
Que Sera, Sera
What will be, will be.


18 May 2008

I giggled so much while uploading the video below.
Finally, i make myself look at this song in a different perspective altogether.
Very light-hearted yet true!


The past two days I was down. About my bad skin. It is so prone to acne/pimples. I cant erase this from my mind..
"Oh ya now I recall. But I didnt remember her having that many pimples. Haha"
Argh! Do you how it feels? Very depressing. I tried to convince myself that my skin has improve but it failed! I started to feel crappy because I have been putting in alot of effort to make it better.
When will it come a time I have flawless skin?! Hmmmm....

*skip lamentation*

On the brighter note, he secures a job already! Congratulation awak! :)
And it is not ORD yet. He is indeed very lucky. He nailed it on the 1st interview. I am so jealous! This make me have a stronger urge to find a new job. Start earning big bucks as compared to the measly amount i am earning now. Shall wait till July. The increment month. If it is not up to expectation I shall quit!!

There are times that I cant believe what I am doing with my life.
I thrust myself into a whirlpool of unfamiliarity.
I don't even know whether this is going to work out well.
I jumped without giving it a deeper thought.
Now, I am here. I cant turn back against what I have decided.
I need to persevere. I need to stay firm on the ground.
I wont collapse without any attempts.
So far,it has been a good start despite the glitches.
Now the challenge is to make it a good ending.
I have 3 years to make it right.


May I ask?
Is this an auspicious year to get married?

Many friends are married or getting married this year.
It really makes me feel weird.
For sure, I am not influence to speed up marriage just because of them.
I am just curious of this phenomenon.

Ps: HAFIZ is getting married. I am invited!!! HAHAHA!

11 May 2008

If you find America's Next Top Model great..
Check out Australia's Next Top Model. It's the Cycle 4!

09 May 2008

Finally settled with this skin. Took me a very long time to decide on it. What more with me still recovering from flu. The virus is getting to my brain. Changing a skin never been this painstaking before.

I found a skin just nice to fit my pictures and videos in it.

Movies I wanna watch so bad..




Ayat-Ayat Cinta..

I have always admire people who pen their ideas well. And currently, this person is no exception. Shikin introduced him via her LJ. Since today I have plenty of time, I decided to take a peek into his blog. He reminds me so much of Alfian Sa'at. University graduates and both love to talk about the Malay community. Similar train of thought i presume.

In anyway, this guy possess a very witty sense of humor. His blog is worth reading.

Let's put that aside and change the topic. School started on 21st April 2008. Not officially yet.
Just the induction programmes. And what I am about to say hopefully wont get me a lawsuit in my letterbox.. Their Administrative Department is in dire need of proper organisation. In layman terms, it sucks! I shall not provide further justification to my words. The "wrongly-issued-textbooks-plus-no-confirmation-as-yet-about-my-subject-changes" proves everything. Period.

Apart from that I am pretty excited to start school proper eventhough it will be taxing. I hope the burning desire to learn wont die off soon after the commencement in July.


I was on a jam-packed activities starting from 1st May 2008.

Let me fill you in with the necessary since I have been updating since I dont know when.

1st May 2008

Started the day early. 9am. When to tutor my student since her Paper 1 was on the next day.
Reached home and took a short nap. Woke up. Went out with him. My treat to the Breeks!

2nd May 2008

After work, met him again. Hmm..for the second time in a week. Met up for dinner and headed home.

3rd May 2008

Headed down to town. In search of his shoes but to no avail. Instead I got something for myself!

4th May 2008

Morning jog. Slept. Tutoring AGAIN!

5th May 2008

Met up with Shahdon and Ashikin for dinner. At Simpang Bedok! (which I wrongly-typed as Bedok Corner). It was the Singapura way! Fun! I've decided to head back there with my parents and maybe with him (on separate days of course!)

The dinner was on Shahdon! Thanks ya! Totally appreciate it!
And he is on his way to Temburong, Brunei as I type this out.

I have never felt so bloated before. We ordered like we have 6 people eating it. When it was just the 3 of us.

T3 was nothing spectacular. Except its interior design is pretty nice.
What you expect when Singapore spent a bomb on it?!

The 'Hot Seat' thingy really spiced up the night.
Only that Shahdon's too shy to answer our 'intimate' questions.

6th May 2008

Watched Harold and Kumar: Escape from Guantanamo Bay with my colleague, Christa. Hilarious! But way too explicit for me and I think for her.
Quite shocked to watch too many topless and bottomless scenes in one night.

7th May 2008

Hey guess what?
By this time, I already felt sick! Took 1/2 day and went to work in the afternoon.
And I still dragged myself to Bugis Street and shopped. I couldnt believe myself!
At the end of it, I was half-dead. Felt crappy. My face was red. It felt as though I can collapse any moment.

8th May 2008

I was down with FLU! Slept the whole day.

9th May 2008

Was supposed to resume work today but still felt sick.
Took another day MC.

I am beginning to believe that I am aging too fast for my age.
I cant even handle the abovementioned schedule without making myself fall sick. Haiz!

03 May 2008

Dear all..

Please bear with this blogskin for awhile..
Will do the re-constructioning of this blog once I am less occupied with stuffs.
Now, how I wish that my office computer has the access to Blogger and other related websites..
I am deprive of updating my bloggie! There are plenty of things to pen down but there seem to be no opportunities at all.

Since I have come this far to drop a message I might as well progress further by posting an entry right?

It's the 1st weekend of the month! GST offset package money received! People are queueing up impatiently to cash their cheques. So typical!

Oh well...That's not what I want to go to actually. Shah's back from Brunei and left for KL yesterday. We still have yet to have an outing together. Like what is that suppose to be? Haha!

Since I am assigned the honourable task to do the co-ordination of outing..Let's make sure we at least have one ya?

Please reply to this message as soon as possible!
We need to decide on a day for the outing.. I thought of Monday 5/5/2008.
And the venue..Just a simple dinner where we can have plenty of time to talk perhaps?
Or would you all prefer a whole day outing?
I seek your confirmation fast!

Dear Nadira..
When is the most favoured day to go out? I prefer on the 7th May.
Update me ya?


Craving for that shopping spree at Bugis Village on a weekday..Cepat2 ye awk?!

02 May 2008

Curiosity starts to boil up and my very own detective game begins. Piecing bits of information together. Weighing the probability. That lengthy revelation keeps playing in my mind like some kind of good old movie. It’s like an unexpected twist to a perfect fairytale. What you see are superficial. What’s between the lines are preposterous.

I shall keep mum and not to blurt out anything. Should keep reminding myself that since I have this itchy mouth and the tendency to spill the beans.

Actually, the beans have been spilled not long ago. HAHA! I succumb to my very own temptation. Well well..Lucky the secret remains between us. Hope it will remain like this.

Been meaning to update my blog for so many weeks but I keep diverting my attention to other things..

I will try to update it soonest possible and change my twisted Blogskin..

Need to start working once again..Tada!

12 April 2008

My New Found Idol

Keluar pagi balik petang

Adakala sampai malam

Cari rezeki bawa pulang

Buat orang yang tersayang

ooo bersabarlah

Wajahmu dimana mana

Senyum kasih mesra kasih

Cinta murni kan bersemi

Bersama ketulusan budi

ooo bersemilah


Lama kucarik rahsia kaseh

Rindu kaseh untuk berkaseh

Senang senang duduk di serambi

Senandung lagu puisi

Zikir zaman nyanyian zaman


Andai kasturi hilang harum

Mawar tak berkuntum

Cinta tak bersambung

Biar emas setinggi gunung

Kan ku peluk rimbun ampun

Rahmat yang Maha Agung