28 April 2009

And I find it kind of funny... I find it kind of sad
The dreams in which I'm dying... Are the best I've ever had

27 April 2009

Congratulation Marie! 3 years to go!

I know I am always lagging when it comes to updates and wishes but nonetheless I am trying to keep up with the time.

Biar muka meleket macam gula melaka atau berminyak seperti pantat kuali.
Hati tetap happy melihat kawanku sarung cincin di jari.
Sekali lagi, tahniah Marie!

Okay! Today was my first day back to school (again!). And oh well I was scolded by the librarian for eating nutrition bar! Totally "what-the-hell" moment but I actually put on my plastic face and apologized half-heartedly to the b*tch. Just me being me. Haha!
Despite starting the day on the bad note, I have never felt this rejuvenated for a very long time. I supposed it must be being away from the unhealthy aura.

I am loving my new lifestyle!!! With the exceptions of the slogging of course.

17 April 2009


Weight Loss program!!

Oh dear!! No one have ever like point it out straight to my face that I have gain ALOT of weight until two days ago. That was like a slap across the face to wake me up from falling deeper into the unhealthy weight zone.

On the day itself..I tell myself to be determined and shed off those extra kilos that I've gained over the 3 years of working. Yes, it's the work! All those sitting down in front of the computer is really unhealthy.
So..I have come up with the to do list to help lose approximately 3-4 kg plus a toned abdomen and here it goes...

-Climb up the stairs instead of using the elevator to get to the office/after lunch
-Drink plenty of water
-Push-ups & crunches alternate with aerobic exercises (on weekdays)
-Jogging every Sunday
-Reduce food intake during lunch (intending to eat bread)

I hope I can stay discipline with the routine 'cos I really want that toned up abdomen to fit into those body hugging tees..I hate those bulges!

I really, really want to stay on the healthy BMI. 22.6, here I come!!!

11 April 2009

I hate to say this but I think I treat different people differently. Double standard! That's what it is. And the worse of it all, I just realized it! So much for the equality and all. I think it's hard to attain.

Just that everyone have a certain set of expectations labelled to their friends, family, relatives etc. It's like reflex action. You can't control it!

Those expectation gets higher when you are closer to particular people. If they somehow fail to meet up with the expectations, you tend to get disappointed. Well, it's normal I think. What is more important is how you deal with the disappointment. Often, I chose the wrong way to handle it. Thus, it leads to terrible heartache. I know I shouldn't have dealt with it the way I did but at the spur of the moment you just can't think rationally. Afterall, I am a woman. They happen to be well-known for being irrational! For goodness sake! It is not that bad, okay?!

I mean why blame on gender or race or background when you happen to act/say/behave in the wrong way? At the end of the day, it is not those factors that really matters! It's all about your decisions.

So what if I happen to decide things wrongly at times? So what if I make mistakes? Don't anyone else? So, can you please stop blaming it on my gender already?? So what if I cry like a baby when I am sad? I am human with emotions. That separate you and me! So get that straight into your brain!

Wokay, I sound schizophrenic and confusing here. That's fine I am having my moment.

One more thing, this entry is not meant for anyone in particular.
Public Holiday was not well-spent but I am happy anyway. It seems like ages ago that I attended any Yellow Chair Production (YCP) events or bumped into any of the members. Things seem to be progressing but not as how I thought it would be.

Earlier today I managed to catch one of their many productions i.e. Eight-in-a-box. Refreshing I must say. Nothing to over the top and what I love the most is the script! Nurul & Shahdon! If you are reading this, I am really looking forward to the July Production. Wow me with your crazy ideas you all. I am loving it so far! :)

I am actually inspired. Inspired to write. It is something random but I want to pursue it. It is like a new challenge altogether. I want to write in a totally different level and perspective but at the same time digestible. Hmm..

Well, I have come to hate this monotony in my life. I hate this routine. Call me a whiner or whatsoever but I am tired living like this. Maybe, I should start to find a hobby.

Life has it funny way of making 360 degrees' turn and flip everything around.
It is when the least you expect to end up where you think you wont be, it changed your mind. How amazing..

When the town is sleeping, here I am awake, entertaining my own thoughts..
I shall make my exit now and continue to drown myself in my own world.

I love Friday night like this. Serene and calm.

01 April 2009

It's April. It has been almost a month and I went on without any updates.
I have been stuck in a timeless routine. Work.Study.Sleep.Wake up.Work.Study!!
This maddening cycle is driving me crazy and leeching my energy off.
I am left with nothing but exhaustion.

Today, I decided to steal away time and put up an entry for my reference.
It is definitely not a fulfilling update but more like a brief review of the month.

Another month of preparation and I am really counting on every ounce of hope I can get hold of. The time is approaching and anxiety kicks in at its optimum ability.
All I can do right now is to stay calm and organise my schedule.
In addition, I need to be disciplined about it.

It's my one and only chance. I need to prove it's all worthwhile.