22 August 2008


The sky is gloomy again. Just like my thoughts nowadays. I have been trying to convince myself. La Tahzan. But my heart not willing to listen to my brain. Most likely they are not in good terms. There need to be some sort of co-ordination here. But resistance seems to be the issue.

It scares me most of the time. Again my problem. I have become accustom to being around him and relying so much on him when times are bad. I am worried if things don’t turn out right. How am I going to face it? The end result will be either to make it or to break it.

Like the law of nature, after the rain there will definitely be sunshine. And on better days, rainbows might appear. The flowers blooming and the birds chirping merrily. That is what I am waiting for.

He said I always expect the best. Who wouldn’t? If not, I won’t be considered human right? Yes I know because of such expectation it leads to destruction. But due to the same expectation, it brings me to where I am now. Being able to propel forward and sometimes exceed my own expectations.

And what those lectures taught me: To look at both sides of the coin. And choose a stand. Thus, I am choosing to stay with my beliefs.

After what I have went through and after alterations to my lifestyle, I am still firm with this one.

Some things just don’t and won’t change. :)

21 August 2008

It's great being blonde - with such low expectations it's easy to impress.


I think we have grown apart. All of us. We have other commitments that need more attention. I have grown out of the fact we aint like how we used to be. That's okay. I am accepting the fact the distance will be hard to bridge in times to come. I am not trying to say I dont care or that I cant be bothered about us. I still do care. I still try as much to narrow the gap. I must admit. I miss us.

I miss alot of people and I cant do much. At the end of the day, it's the choice you make in life that determines your destiny.

It's a hell of a rollercoaster ride all year round. At least I felt like on top of the world for the past half a year. So far so good. Of course with some bitter moments. Apart from that life been on my side.

I have never been so close to someone in my entire life and some part of me..honestly not even my family is aware of it. It scares me that I have become an open book to him. The fear.

13 August 2008

Geram nak mampos sey ngan cleaner office.

Kerje tak seberapa, complain je lebih.. Eh bodoh betol ah! Kalau tak nak kerja cakap je ah.

Tak payah nak attitude kat sini. Dah lah bau tenggik, bergayut kat telephone 24 jam.

Dia ingat nie apa? Fun fair ke?

Kalau dah malas nak kerje tak payah nak order2 orang around. Aku boleh buat ah!

Pay bawak mari ah. Kasi aku. Duit nak, kerja half past six. Memang nak kena smack!

Eeeee..Macam nak cekik2!

12 August 2008

Being Cheeky!!


Am I really growing up way too slow here?

Only now that I begin to embrace that cheekiness in me and actually not feeling awkward about it!

Oh by the way..Confidence can be really sexy..

Happy Belated National Day!!
to my dearest Singapore and my apologies if I forget how old you are.
It seems that I have lost track of time.I am feeling the pressure of juggling so many things at one time. There are so many things to accomplish with inadequate time..
I want to meet up with the friends..So many of them have yet to be met for a very long time! That includes Ashikin, Nurul and Shahdon..
I need to complete my tutorials which are long overdue..
I need to collect my raya clothes!
And I really need time to exercise!!
Hmmm..There seems to be lots of reading to be done too!
Have I mentioned how terribly I miss camwhoring? I want to have more pics taken!
And how bad I want to shop but I cant because believe it or not I am nearly broke!!
Such sacrifices to make at this age...Sigh!
Lastly, I want a hair make-over!