31 March 2006

It's already 11:05am in the morning..Oh no!! I'm about to determine my own fate in just about a few hours time. My oh my..This is scary and nerve-recking to be exact. *pray hard*

Anyway, to a particular someone..Cheer up ok! Smile and don't let it get the better of you which apparently it already did.
And always remember I'm here and you can always consult me. :)

Oh yah..I discovered something interesting while looking thru' Nad's Blog. And guess wat..Her mom and my mom share the same birthday. Yes..Wednesday, 29th March!! So cool isnt it? Haha! I just realised it after 3 years of friendship.

oh shoot it's 12:03pm already..Better get going. Bye! Wish me luck ya!

26 March 2006

Somehow I don't feel that today is Sunday. It feels more like a weekday or to be more specific it feels like Friday. Don't ask me why I feel it's like that particular day and not any other days 'cos I don't know why either.
For past few days I can't stop thinking about it.
It just keep haunting me day and night.
The reason why I'm down OR super weird at times.
I just don't know why but I'm really lost now.
Lost a part of my confidence to achieve my particular dream.
I know he constantly keep assuring me that everything is going to be fine and that dream isnt the only thing in life.
I agree with him and would like to thank him for the assurance.
But somehow I'm still feeling down about it.
I know it's not everything if i cant fulfill that dream but..
You see what I mean..There's always BUT in my sentences.
Perhaps I want it so bad that it's affecting me too much.
Even right down to my self-esteem. Sigh.
I should have known better than to put high hopes on that dream of mine.
I should have known it way better that it's near to impossible to achieve it.
Yet I still continuosly hoping for it to come true.
Hopelessly waiting for the day that dream will be fulfilled.
I can't seem to wake up from it and admit defeat.
I can't possibly dump that dream aside and continue the rest of my life knowing that I don't make the effort to do something about it. That'll make me a total failure.
You know, secretly I envy him(you know who you are) for being so fortunate.
Getting all the support from the loved ones. I just yearn for such miracles to happen to me.
I wonder when will that be?
I'm seriously in need of a job.
Like I'm too free right now that I decided to blog a long entry.
To kill time.
That's what I normally do in the past 1 month!
No income, waste money!
Something I do best recently.
I'm feeling more impatient since I know my friends have started to work and earn reasonable amount of cash for themselves.
And me? What am I doing with my life?
Apart from Drama, I don't achieve anything much!
I can't go on like this for the next 2 months or so before I really obtain my Diploma, can I?
Some have secure permanent jobs. Lucky ones. Sigh.
There's something wrong with my resumes or cover letters that I'm not employed till now? Argh!!
Can't afford to have too much fun now since mom has started to repeatedly asked me about my job applications.
How am I suppose to explain myself?
Now I know the difficulty unemployed people go thru' to find a decent job for themselves.
Guess have to work extra hard to impress the employer huh?
Alright, my time is up and I can't go on complaining about how difficult it is to get a job. So I better get going and be more proactive in search for a job.
The quest will be continued...

23 March 2006

Convo with Mum while walking to the shop
Mak: Kau tau ada tak pegi rumah cik jah dengan mak cik kau biler hari raya tahun lepas?
Me: Err..A'ah.
Mak: Tadi makcik kau ceritakan aku..Cik Jah tu punya sedara berkenan kat kau..Nak jodohkan kau ngan anak dier yang baru abis universiti.
Me: *dumbfounded but in my heart almost burst out laughing*
Mak: Aku ketawa biler mak cik kau ceritakan aku pasal tu. Abeh mak cik kau cakap anak sedara saya masih nak belajar lagi. HAHAHA!

You know what it means when someone wants to jodohkan a girl and a guy?
Well, it spells MATCHMAKING!!!
Argh!! It will be a total nightmare I tell you.
Alrite, for the sake of some non-malays out there I'll summarize my conversation with my mum in English.
Apparently, during last year Hari Raya's Visit to one of my aunties house, a visitor (Mak cik X) was interested to get his son married to me (Like out of all people..Why me?). The story was told by my aunt to my mum who almost died due to laughing so much. Haha! Thank goodness my aunt came to the rescue by telling Mak Cik X that I'm still furthering my studies and not ready for marriage. I love you aunt!
Phew~! That was a close encounter with arranged marriage which I am so against.
Yesterday I was happily laughing my ass off about him being matchmake or so with a girl and today I got this kind of story from my mom. How coincidental?

I think I should stop that there.

20 March 2006

The theme of the year..Colourful!!
Decided to give my blog a new look and since I'm avoiding black for the time being..
I chose this template.
I find it cute and well.. Colourful!!
It brightens up my blog so it wont look so depressing afterall..
I had a great time with THEM.
How nice if I have lots of money to spent on..
I want to buy alot of things..
New pair of jeans, shoes and a new handphone?
The story of Goldilocks and the Three Bear!
How interesting!
I found a fairytale that I can associate with..
Maybe the next time I'll blog about the story.
So much for wasting my time over non productive activities..
Ok..I'm so Hanyut!
Anyway, I've been conversing using A-Z format for the past 2 days..
It's Fun since I get to stimulate my brain to at least think.
That's just what I need : )
Brain stimulation.

18 March 2006

Finally.. Like finally I get back my internet connection.
It's been 3 torturous months without internet access and it's difficult life without internet.
Oh well, I forget to thank you guys who came down to support us in Tainted Flower.
Thanks to Mas and Shah for the Flowers & Fadz for the drawing..
I have yet to blog about the production in details but heck it have been weeks after the production.
As usual, like every other productions the casts and crew eventually get closer and more comfortable with each other..
We even hang out together at times which reminds me of those old times in Dramatec.
I even forge new friendships in Yellow Chair and apparently I get closer to Sue and Ella.
They are nice people and I can really talk to them..Now my circle of friends has expanded.
How nice! Hehe!
Oh yah..One more interesting thing I discovered after Tainted Flower is how everybody is connected in different ways.
Muzill was shaiful's and my primary sch friend who now is the BF of Dhaniah's lil sis who was my ELDDS junior who is now Sue's junior.
Then, there's Din who was Faizal's classmate in JC and Fazli who is Syima's and Faizal's fren who was my counsellor junior back in secondary school.
You see how all of us are connected?! Strange but true! Haha!

Next, the progress in Yellow Chair..It's nice to see the spirit of the members..Very optimistic yet realistic about the whole club. I'm proud to be in the club eventhough I did very minimal contribution so far. Shaiful, if you are reading this thanks for the opportunity and approaching me to join the club in the first place. You rock ah! Hehe! It's amazing how we was never close before can still keep in contact till now. Unlike some individual.

I'm still in search of job for now and I envy those who already get a job and have the money to spent. I'm so jealous. I need the money sey! Shit ah!
Since now I'm back to the virtual world I'll be more actively sending out my resumes and cover letters to companies and hopefully I can start to write Cerpen again.

Anyway, I shall end this now..Will continue it some other day. Cya!