05 February 2007

My head is spinning and I feel like throwing up.
Everything seems to become topsy-turvy.
Sometimes I hate to go home right after work and would rather stay in the library drown in my own fantasy world. Reading those uber sweet love stories or the page turning mystery. Or I even will be contented just by flipping through fashion magazines. It seems I can find solace in the Public Library eventhough it isnt so conducive afterall seeing ah-peks snoring at those sofas taking up all the seats. Oh well I've turn immune to all these. If you are living in one country make sure to behave like the citizens. So you wont fall out of place.

Talking about being out of place. This leads me to a more interesting fact of my life. Hmm..It seems as yet things are still not falling into place. It should have been since it's almost 7 months already but oh well things just gets more unfamiliar. It never seems to feel right. I have been trying to make it like my own but till now I never feel that i belong there. Even for a day. But I am beginning to make rapport with my own superior. At least things aint that bad like it used to be. At least they are nice eventhough it might be an act. I really dont give a damn. They can pretend for as long as they want and I shall put on the same mask as usual. I can never really be myself with them. I think I know why. GENERATION GAP. It is an issue. HAHA! No matter what at least I am making the effort to be nice and narrowing the gap between us. Who knows in months to come I will be able to close that gap totally. I really hope so.

As for things not falling into place, I am still searching for a reason to purport the feeling I am experiencing.Maybe this is temporary. But what if it's permanent? How will I go about tackling this problem? Haiz. I hate thinking too much. Maybe this is the reason why I happen to have this topsy-turvy feeling. BUT if i dont think about it, how can things get going? How can I make things better if I dont think about it and try to find a solution for it? Errr.. Okay I am going in circles. I am having issues with myself (I think). I think I need a psychologist. ARgh!! I am going nuts! Help!!

Alright this is getting more freaky than it already is. Before things get out of hand I shall put an end to this entry right away.

Oh well on a brighter note, I am waiting for end of this week. :)

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