Almost a year not feeling the way I am now.
I foresee my future in between the mist.
I am back to where I was.

If only they see it.
If only they know it.
Perhaps there might be a change.

~@~

I am craving for Naan, a good old hindi movie, peace and a lovely bouquet of colourful flowers (I know this will not come true)to cheer me up.

~@~

Haiz..I think silence is golden afterall. I should have known better.

It wasnt about me all the time. It's about others too.

I have failed to make someone happy. I am failing miserably.

~@~

I am slowly deteriorating.

I am weakening.

I am losing the zest of life.

Will it ever come back to me?

~@~

Today is the second time in a week I get away from work. Monday I took a half day while today I am going to be on Medical leave. Actually, work is not a problem at all. In fact, yesterday I cleared all my work which left me with none for today. My superior wont be around today so what will I do then. With my condition like this I dont want to risk breaking down in the office. It will definitely be the last thing that I want to happen. I plan to sleep the whole day or perhaps ask for sleeping pills so that I can sleep without any disturbance. So that I can temporarily run away into dreamland and be happy. Hmmm... Or let's see if there are other better options. In fact, I have a couple in my mind. To either start exploring Canon Ixus 70 at Bedok Reservoir or watch a movie alone since I have plenty of movies that I want to watch anyway.

Sigh.

I want to have a good laugh once more. Please, can anyone do miracle?

~@~

My new found jealousy. The receptionist.

She is so happy-go-lucky that sometimes I begin to wonder.

Dont anything affect her at all?

Dont she have any worries?

She still looks young despite being 50 over.

I want to age gracefully like her.

I dont want to age like the office adhoc cleaner.

Aging in misery.