The Whirs and the Purrs
Have I grown up too fast for my own good?
Should I have taken a few steps back and slow down to catch my breath?
It is as though my mind has been contaminated with too many facts of life.
My heart has been beating unnaturally fast and I can feel my blood gushing to my brain.
I have no idea why I’m feeling so charged up these days.
Should I blame it on that book I am currently reading? Its content perhaps?
Err..I had actually rushed down to the library to get my hands on the book. I made the trip solely for that!
I can’t believe I actually went to that extent.
Maybe I should start practicing abstinence and resistance. *sigh*
*side-track* A new author have been added to my list of favorite writers. I am too drawn by
his subtlety and artful descriptions of the most controversial issue. Despite that subtleness of
his words, he manages to sketch vivid images in one’s mind. For that, it ignites a sense
within me that I have never felt before. Perhaps that’s the feeling one felt after a good sex?
Or to put it in a more decent way, a feeling one get maybe after a full body SPA treatment
(massage included)? I think you get what I mean. That “feel good” feeling. Satisfaction! Ah!!
That’s the word that fits this situation.
It seems my side-track is way off.
Finally! I received that long-awaited Parcel from London. What makes them take so long to
deliver it? Should have used DHL or Fed-Ex lah! Anyway, no more complaints or to be precise
no more excuses for not able to study since resources are a few steps away. Honestly, maybe
it’s a good thing the books arrive now rather than the past few months. At least, the arrival
of the books is a form of motivation for me to do revision. Those new texts are very
inviting. Welcome me to read it and gain knowledge from it. Aaah..
Sometimes, I wish not to rekindle certain ties that was once broken. Not because of any form
of arguments but more to poor reception. I wish to maintain it that way because certain
friendships are too bitter to swallow. At some point, those friendships are meaningless and
sadly, full of pretence. Maybe it is meant not to be. I’m sorry. Door is close for you. Now, it is
by invitation only.
Everyone wish to live their life in denials. I am not to be excluded. I hate to admit that I
have at several occasions told tales about my life. The life I wish I can be in. The harsh reality
that all those are not true hit me real hard. No doubt that cut through my heart is slowly
healing but it will still leave an ugly scar. That will never go away. It will still live on like a
terrible nightmare. *sigh*
Recently, I have been questioning myself. Will I still survive the Theatre Circle if I am thrown
into it? Will I be acting more like a clown trying to fit into the cast of “Phantom of the
Opera”?
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