Somehow I don't feel that today is Sunday. It feels more like a weekday or to be more specific it feels like Friday. Don't ask me why I feel it's like that particular day and not any other days 'cos I don't know why either.
For past few days I can't stop thinking about it.
It just keep haunting me day and night.
The reason why I'm down OR super weird at times.
I just don't know why but I'm really lost now.
Lost a part of my confidence to achieve my particular dream.
I know he constantly keep assuring me that everything is going to be fine and that dream isnt the only thing in life.
I agree with him and would like to thank him for the assurance.
But somehow I'm still feeling down about it.
I know it's not everything if i cant fulfill that dream but..
You see what I mean..There's always BUT in my sentences.
Perhaps I want it so bad that it's affecting me too much.
Even right down to my self-esteem. Sigh.
I should have known better than to put high hopes on that dream of mine.
I should have known it way better that it's near to impossible to achieve it.
Yet I still continuosly hoping for it to come true.
Hopelessly waiting for the day that dream will be fulfilled.
I can't seem to wake up from it and admit defeat.
I can't possibly dump that dream aside and continue the rest of my life knowing that I don't make the effort to do something about it. That'll make me a total failure.
You know, secretly I envy him(you know who you are) for being so fortunate.
Getting all the support from the loved ones. I just yearn for such miracles to happen to me.
I wonder when will that be?
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I'm seriously in need of a job.
Like I'm too free right now that I decided to blog a long entry.
To kill time.
That's what I normally do in the past 1 month!
No income, waste money!
Something I do best recently.
I'm feeling more impatient since I know my friends have started to work and earn reasonable amount of cash for themselves.
And me? What am I doing with my life?
Apart from Drama, I don't achieve anything much!
I can't go on like this for the next 2 months or so before I really obtain my Diploma, can I?
Some have secure permanent jobs. Lucky ones. Sigh.
There's something wrong with my resumes or cover letters that I'm not employed till now? Argh!!
Frustrating.
Can't afford to have too much fun now since mom has started to repeatedly asked me about my job applications.
How am I suppose to explain myself?
Now I know the difficulty unemployed people go thru' to find a decent job for themselves.
Guess have to work extra hard to impress the employer huh?
Alright, my time is up and I can't go on complaining about how difficult it is to get a job. So I better get going and be more proactive in search for a job.
The quest will be continued...